It is 3 years today that my mom decided to take an overdose. Although I miss her everyday so it shouldn't really make a difference ... it does. It brings it all back with such intensity like a re-run and I am now feeling emotionally drained and numb again.
I know 3 years seems a long time and I feel I should be coping better, its wierd cos I'm ok one minute and then I'm not, its the little everyday things that remind, a song, certain flowers and their smells seeing someone in the street that has the same hair colour ... I even sobbed when a lady walked past that had a similar pair of shoes like my mom's favourites ...
I know I'm stupid but I feel "so what" as well ... why shouldn't I have a wallow in my own self pity ... grief is so painful. I am strong all the rest of the time for my family to the point where I had to remind my partner why I felt like s@*t. I keep it all in. I have to remember it is what she chose.
Anyway thanks for listening, I'm going to bed now ...
GOD I JUST MISS HER SO MUCH :sad:
I know 3 years seems a long time and I feel I should be coping better, its wierd cos I'm ok one minute and then I'm not, its the little everyday things that remind, a song, certain flowers and their smells seeing someone in the street that has the same hair colour ... I even sobbed when a lady walked past that had a similar pair of shoes like my mom's favourites ...
I know I'm stupid but I feel "so what" as well ... why shouldn't I have a wallow in my own self pity ... grief is so painful. I am strong all the rest of the time for my family to the point where I had to remind my partner why I felt like s@*t. I keep it all in. I have to remember it is what she chose.
Anyway thanks for listening, I'm going to bed now ...
GOD I JUST MISS HER SO MUCH :sad: