I just want her to die. Why cant she keep her mouth shut? Why cant she just leave me alone? Fuck her. I just had an unecessary discussion with her that started with me asking her "Time is passing by really fast dont you think?" and she wasl ike "Yes it is, especially to you that you dont have the same hopes and aspirations of a young lady" and I said "Why do you say that" "Becuase you are pregnant and mentally ill" SO??????? SO?????? Why does it matter so much tath I'm pregnant?? UGHH let me start My mom knew I had a problem, I've been suicidal ever since I was 11 years old. She used to say that I was just brat that wanted to kill herself everytime I didnt got what I wanted. I was practically screaming for help and I just couldnt walk up to her and say "Hello mom ,there's a voice that is telling me to kill myself and it wont leave me alone" She was going to tell me that I was just being silly and an attention seeker. UMM no mom, not all of us are like you thankyou very much. I kept my voices and everything to myself, until I couldnt handle it anymore and told my grandma before she died becuase I knew somehow if somebody else told my mom she would believe it. But it didnt, she didnt believed my grandma and even before I told her my grandma was always telling my mom "She needs help, get her some help she's not well" But oh of course not, the child that my mom had raised (hello she didnt even did that) had problems. When she finally decided that I needed help was years later when I was 17. I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia months later when I turned 18 and my mom was "disappointed" And she even told me she was. Why would she be disappointed?? Afterall this disease comes from HER side. But yes, her model daughter cant be "crazy", nope she did something wrong (she did nothing to raise me). Several months ago, I started dating this guy, we had sex and YAAYY I'm pregnant. I found out I was pregnant after we broke up though. I called him, told him I was pregnant and he said he didnt believed me becuase I am crazy and that I'm making everything up. Ok, I dont need your help to raise my child. Fuck you. My mom went nuts, at that time not becuase I was pregnant, but becuase I had sex. She thinks that I'm not the same as any other girl my age becuase I had sex. Since when having sex is a sin?? And quite honestly I love sex, I love it. And then when I told her I was pregnant, OMG again the... Why do you do this to me?? What did I do to deserve this?? I only gave you everything you wanted Yes mother, I asked for something I got it but guess what?? Everything you gave to me was material things. My grandma was the one that raised me, and when you wanted to get into the picture it was to late mom, too late. She thinks just becuase I'm her daughter I'm hers. NO MOM!! I'm an individual and I have my own opinions on several subjects, I'M NOT YOU!!!. So sorry for not being the perfect and healthy daughter you've always wanted. And no mom, having sex and being pregnant as a result is not a sin. I study and I have a job. I'll hold my plans for this baby, I've been responsible and you know it. I'm sorry that I didnt stayed a virgin like you did until my 30's but heck I was not going to wait that long. I'm sorry for not being the stylish, beautiful, smart and popular daughter you've always wanted, but you got me and that's all there is. No mom, I cant be more independent becuase you dont LET ME!! You dont let me drive, you dont let me take public transportation YOU have to drive me everywhere becuase you think I'm useless and I cant do things for myself. No mom, I cant be financially independent either becuase you "borrow" must of what I make and NEVER EVER pay me back and when I ask you say "And what about everything I gave you in the past, doesnt that count?" What about all the education I gave you wasn't it worth it?? LOL I've been in American Schools my whole life and I hated it, you never ever gave me the chance of picking the school I wanted. But yes it as useful I can speak english if that's what you wanted. And then we go to the psychiatrist and you say that you do all of that becuase you love me. If you love me LET ME BE!!!!! LET ME BE IN PEACE MOM!!! When I survived all of my suicide attempts instead of comforting me and supporting me what did I got?? Scoldings??? "OH WHAT DID I DID WRONG" It's not about you mom, the world doesnt revolve around you. You are not perfect and you are not always right. PLEASE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!