I was kidnapped and raped by my own mother, who I recently just got back in contact with. She denies everything. I’m in my 20’s now and hadn’t spoke to her since I was 8. I’ve always just wanted to know the truth of what happened to me but she denies having anything to do with it and tries to council me instead, or tell me the system is corrupt. When I was about 14 my cousin came over when I was home alone, I was scared to be home alone for the first time over night, but I knew my cousin had bad intentions and still allowed him to come over. He made me do things with him and I was too scared to stop the situation. I carry a huge weight on my shoulders because of it, I’m disgusting for letting that happen. I try to tell myself it wasn’t my fault but it was, I let it happen. These two situations haunt me, I wish I could erase it all but it just weighs over me. I feel like I’ll never be able to have a stable relationship with anyone because I either trust too much or not at all. I don’t know what to do anymore.