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My mother died today

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by texaskitty, Jan 27, 2010.

  1. texaskitty

    texaskitty SF Cat Lady Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Alzheimers had already taken her mind then her body shut down. I got a call from my brother at 4:15 this morning. The nursing home called him. They gave her a drink of water at 3 and at 4 she was gone. I went down there today and we made the arrangements. We being my half brother and sis in law. We had to pick out a coffin and vault. So many questions to answer.

    I don't feel anything. Shes been gone so long anyway from the Alzheimers, she didn't know who I was anymore.

    The viewing is Sunday with the funeral on Monday due to bad weather forecast.

    I feel guilty because I haven't cried.

  2. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    that's okay...sometimes we can't cry..it doesnt mean you didnt care...when sudden death happens like that its a shock and sometimes it takes time...

    my heart goes out to you :hug:
  3. betteroffunknown

    betteroffunknown Well-Known Member

    angie i am so so sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. mine just passed this last july so i can relate. i didn't cry right away either so don't be too hard on yourself ok? it's a natural way to react amongst others. please take care of yourself and if you need to chat please feel free to pm me.
  4. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    There is no law to say that you have to cry when a loved one dies, so try not to feel too guilty. We all have different ways of reacting to the things that happen around us and since she'd already been somewhat lost to the conditions her mind had placed her in, it's totally understandable why you haven't yet cried over her loss. Try not to be too hard on yourself & I am terribly sorry for your loss. :hug:
  5. jnine

    jnine Well-Known Member

    please accept my condolencese for you loss texaskitty, when my mum died i didn't cry either. She'd been ill a very long time. But i'd been grieving for her so long already that the suddenness of her death didn't really seem all that different how i had been feeling. The tiredness though and the confusion and the not really knowing how to interact with family and her friends that was very difficult. I wish you peace.
  6. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Please accept my condolences to you. It's a trying time. I don't cry when people die. The crying comes later when it seems that I'm crying for no apparent reason.
  7. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    A :hug: for you.
  8. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    So sorry to hear of your loss, Texas.

    Try not to be too harsh on yourself for not crying yet. It could be shock, it could be your way of dealing with it. Also though you have to remember that when a loved one has something like Alzheimers we feel that we have lost them long before they actually die. (My Mum's partner has Alzheimers) It may just be that you did your grieving while she was still alive?

    Feel free to PM me if you want to talk :hug:
  9. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am sorry for your loss it must of been hard for you seeing her disappear from view with the Alzheimers I hope when all the arrangements are done when you have a quiet moment you can grieve it will come when its ready to come.
    Take care
  10. Mikeintx

    Mikeintx Well-Known Member

    Im so sorry to hear she passed ang. Just know she is at peace now and do not feel bad about not crying, we all deal with these things in our own ways. :hug:
  11. texaskitty

    texaskitty SF Cat Lady Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Thank you all for your support and caring, it means so much.
  12. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    so sorry to hear about your mom Angie :hug: and try not to feel guilty for not crying, you are still in shock, and you watched your moms health deteriate, so you slowly started to grieve for her :hug: hope funeral is organised etc, so you can have some time to yourself :hug: