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my mother/first mothers day

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by kittyD, May 5, 2008.

  1. kittyD

    kittyD Well-Known Member

    This is the first mothers day since my own mother died last October. And to boot, the first week of May is when my dad died, 12 years ago. I'm an only child and my parents were older when they had me, so most of their families are gone too.
    I know that it isnt' really the expected times, like M's Day, Xmas that hit the worst, the unexpected are much more upsetting for me.
    But right now, with all the despair in my life, it seems unsurmountable. I'd like to hide away on Sun, but can't do that to my own kids.
    My personal belief system is of reincarnation and the cycle of rebirth, etc, so it makes it very hard to visit a gravesite; my memories are with me every day.
  2. I'm sorry for what you're going through on top of all else!! :sad:

    Could you think of some kind of 'ritual' or something, invent something new that you could do... that your children could also take part in? (I don't know their ages). Can't think of too many off the top of my head, other than how the Jewish people set an extra plate on Shabbat for Elijah (I think?). Or photos, or stories about your mom (and/or you dad)...I dunno - something meaningful and personal to you, but that you could explain to your kids...

    Even writing messages to her (as well as your children doing so) and burning it so that it 'goes up into the heavens"...? Or...planting some of her favorite flower seeds, or a special little shrub/bush/flower or something? (to go with the reincarnation theme...)

    Maybe doing something like that can make you feel less "overwhelmed" at the milestone of loss, and imagine that in performing such a special thing, she may be "present"...

    Last edited: May 5, 2008
  3. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    Hey there Kitty,

    I don't really know what to say :sad: But I just wanted to send you some hugs :hug: :hug: