My mother is a hoarder and I've never been able to cope.

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Damask, Aug 8, 2015.

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  1. Damask

    Damask Well-Known Member

    This has been one of the hardest issues for me to come to terms with. There is barely any awareness of hoarding. People treat it like it's a joke. People ask, "Why can't you jut get your shit together?" But it's not that easy.

    I grew up in a messy house. My mom still can't admit she has a problem. She won't get rid of her stuff.

    I myself do not know how to NOT live in a mess. It's embarrassing. People shame me for it. There are very basic life skills that you just never learn when you are raised by a hoarder. Now I'm an adult who can barely function.

    I'm so sick of being in denial about this simply because it isn't a "normal" mental health/depression/anxiety related issue. I've read that it may actually be considered part of the OCD spectrum. That makes sense because I think I may be OCD.

    Has anyone else had to deal with this before? I really need to know that I'm not alone. I have only ever felt utter shame over this.
  2. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    Have you perhaps talked to a therapist to it? It is something that needs to be taken seriously and shame on anyone who says otherwise. I don't think it is something that will go away quickly or easily, but it is something that needs support. I have not had to deal with it to a large degree directly, but do have a family member that is a low grade hoarder, and even there i can see how stressful and hard it is to get "your shit together". Hope that you can find some support and feel free to pm me if you want :)
  3. Marga

    Marga Active Member

    Hi Damask, my parents have a slight hoarding tendency, although it's not a disaster in their case, but very annoying anyway and they can't admit it either. I would agree it is a serious issue. Some professional help would be good for you. The fact that you admit there is something wrong is an essential and great first step! I have a similar problem but at an emotional level - keep hoarding negative emotions, old pain, failures and past relationships and cannot let go of them... :) Therapy helps a bit. Wish you good luck.
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