How about a little fucking encouragement? How about a kind word every once and again? My problems all started from an early age... an age when YOU were in charge. But you act as though you are not to blame, OH how fucking convenient. I'd imagine it's a coping mechanism because you know you are, and you don't want to admit that you failed to bring up well formed children. Well the first step to rebuilding anything is admitting that you have fucked up. But no, not you missus Jupiter sized ego, instead all I get from you are snide little comments and rounds of "you can't, you won't, you never will". If that is true, I hope you know that it is all because of you... I WANT TO TRY!!!! I ACTUALLY WANT TO TRY AND MAKE A LIFE FOR MYSELF! I WANT TO GET BETTER, I WANT TO MAKE SOMETHING OF MY LIFE, I WANT TO CHANGE, I WANT TO SUCCEED. BUT ALL SHE DOES IS TELL ME "oh you've left it too late now blah blah blah, you've messed up so many times before, how is this time going to be any different?". Woman that is complete and utter bullshit! I am still breathing air into my lungs, am I not? So how is it too late? How is it too late to make a life for myself. I mean... Jesus, what does she expect me to do then? Start drinking again, start doing drugs and go pick myself out a plot? Where were you when I was trying to kill myself with drugs, sex and alcohol? Where were you when I was eating myself to death? Where were you when I was crying myself to sleep? Where were you when I needed a hug and to be told I was loved? Where were you when I needed help, support and encouragement? Where were you when I needed a Doctor and Counselling? Where were you when I needed Anti-Depressants? Where were you when I needed advice and acknowledgment? Where were you when I needed someone to believe me, to believe that I was genuinely sick, and that this depression was taking hold of my mind and screwing with me? Where were you when all of that was happening. Jesus Christ, I need to read this back if ever I think of having children. They say history repeats itself and I don't want to do this shit to ANYBODY.