My Mother - sometimes you can be such an evil bitch.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Aurora Gory Alice, Apr 21, 2010.

  1. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    How about a little fucking encouragement?

    How about a kind word every once and again?

    My problems all started from an early age... an age when YOU were in charge. But you act as though you are not to blame, OH how fucking convenient.
    I'd imagine it's a coping mechanism because you know you are, and you don't want to admit that you failed to bring up well formed children.

    Well the first step to rebuilding anything is admitting that you have fucked up. But no, not you missus Jupiter sized ego, instead all I get from you are snide little comments and rounds of "you can't, you won't, you never will".

    If that is true, I hope you know that it is all because of you...

    I WANT TO TRY!!!! I ACTUALLY WANT TO TRY AND MAKE A LIFE FOR MYSELF! I WANT TO GET BETTER, I WANT TO MAKE SOMETHING OF MY LIFE, I WANT TO CHANGE, I WANT TO SUCCEED. BUT ALL SHE DOES IS TELL ME "oh you've left it too late now blah blah blah, you've messed up so many times before, how is this time going to be any different?".
    Woman that is complete and utter bullshit! I am still breathing air into my lungs, am I not? So how is it too late? How is it too late to make a life for myself. I mean... Jesus, what does she expect me to do then? Start drinking again, start doing drugs and go pick myself out a plot?

    Where were you when I was trying to kill myself with drugs, sex and alcohol?
    Where were you when I was eating myself to death?
    Where were you when I was crying myself to sleep?
    Where were you when I needed a hug and to be told I was loved?
    Where were you when I needed help, support and encouragement?
    Where were you when I needed a Doctor and Counselling?
    Where were you when I needed Anti-Depressants?
    Where were you when I needed advice and acknowledgment?
    Where were you when I needed someone to believe me, to believe that I was genuinely sick, and that this depression was taking hold of my mind and screwing with me?

    Where were you when all of that was happening.

    Jesus Christ, I need to read this back if ever I think of having children. They say history repeats itself and I don't want to do this shit to ANYBODY.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 21, 2010
  2. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

  3. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Thanks lightbeam. :)

    And God I love this section of SF, I nearly punched out a wall before I wrote all that down. *phew*
  4. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    I've been wanting to say those sort of things to my exwife
  5. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    You absolutely should, you should write her a letter.
    I would love to tell all of this to my mum, but the woman has such an ego on her (or the beginnings of alzheimers I'm not sure which) that she would've forgotten it all in a week.
  6. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    My exwife has no idea how really sick I am. Religion is a big nono to me. It's a very dangerous trigger. When I'm not on medication, I could see angels, have visions, and be a prophet.

    So religion, very bad idea. And my exwife wanted me to stay committed to that. She could not see how delusional I was becoming. She thought it was all normal.
  7. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    wow well said, wish I could say that to my dad...but he'd be saying all the stuff he did to me never happened, its a figment of my imagination because I'm the crazy one, exactly like my mother. He's the perfect father who does no wrong and if he messes up its somehow your or someone else's fault...sheesh...what a piece of work he is...I swear, do they give diplomas for this kind of thing or what?
  8. MsBuggity

    MsBuggity Member

    My story's not exactly like yours, but similar. I finally decided to walk away from her and never look back. It's been almost 9 years now, since I've talked to her. I don't miss her. It may be something for you to consider, too. I mean...really? what's the positive of keeping in touch with her?
  9. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

  10. shamps

    shamps Well-Known Member

    cant remember how many years it is since i spoke to my parents...i dont know who was worse,her for leaving me in debt and losing my house because she didnt repay it and saying she wished she had aborted me when i confronted her about it,or my dad,who hasnt actually spoken any words of hatred towards me but has chosen to follow my mother and forget that he had theyve only got two.which to them cudve been true as they dont even know if im alive or dead and they cudnt care less..........................people look at me in horror when i tell them my mothers a them who were brought up as the brady bunch,they cant understand that sometimes parents are horrible people-too horrible to forgive in my case and i havent even mentioned some of the nastier things she did to me when i was younger(i dont mean sexual just very very cruel)
    as far as im concerned they are dead to me!!!!
    p.s sorry for my rant but after being cheated on and left by my partner of 5years and being totally on my own....i saw this posting and just felt i needed to vent also
  11. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    It's what this forum fore. :)

    I'm thankful to have a good, great in fact, relationship with my mom. Not to to rub it in, though. My dad, how's not BAD, but it's not the best either. I'm too cowardly to say anything, afraid to hurt him.
  12. shamps

    shamps Well-Known Member

    not rubbing it in at all.......ive always been envious of people who have decent parents.just never take it for granted x