My Mother

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by hall, Aug 12, 2012.

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  1. hall

    hall Member

    I started a new job at the beginning of the week. It is scary, as it is something I haven't done before. Yesterday my mother asked me to meet her for a celebration meal. As soon as we finished eating she told me she had disinherited me because I have had mental health problems and I might waste my inheritance. I have always held down a full time job and have never been in debt. I am the eldest of 2 children, so the younger gets all. My mother has always been a cruel person so I wasn't terribly surprised. On reflection I feel terrible anger now rising. My mother is a staunch Catholic and knows I am not heterosexual. I believe this to be the only true reason for her decision. The problem is that she has been consistently unkind to me since I was born. At this point, surely neither of us could have known my future orientation. My sibling has always been worshipped by my mother. We have the same father (deceased 16 years ago). Please could someone help me to understand what is going on. I have no wish to persuade my mother to change her mind. However, I do wish to cease all contact now. Is this wrong?

    Whilst I do not wish to die, it represents the path of least resistance. And no, I don't want to die to punish my mother. I desperately miss my partner who died 12 years ago.

    I am also disgusted with my sibling who knew and acqiesced. Is it appropriate to sever my relationship with both parties and try to just focus on the job?

    Every time something good happens to me my mother destroys it, if she can.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi Hall your mother is so toxic hun to you the best thing for you would be to yes sever all ties if you can and move on with your life. You deserve kindness and compassion understanding and your mother is not capable of this she is very cruel. You siblings should be standing by you I think the best thing for you now is to concentrate on your work on your accomplishments and be proud of w ho you are. Walk away hun for your own mental heatlh hugs
  3. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    If people have are making your life difficult as opposed to helping you do not need them in your life. Family, "friends", relationships, whatever the connection it is not important. Yes, in the same position as you I would be done with the whole situation and never look back. easier said than done perhaps, but if it helps you it is worth it in the end.

    After the loss of a loved one, your partner, at some point it is really necessary to move on. It takes everybody different amounts of time to do this, but it is never to late to get help/counseling to aid in the process.

    Take Care and Be Safe

  4. hall

    hall Member

    Thank you so much. You are so kind you have made my cry. I was brought up not to express any emotions. I have been feeling like a waste product. Thank you for helping me.
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Sometimes even those we think should understand us the best don't. If your mother and sibling are doing more harm to you than good, maybe it is time to distance yourself from them. There may come a time when you wish to let them back in to your life, but that is something only you can decide. You are able to care for yourself and have already proven you don't need your mothers material possessions. Do you have any other type of support system in your life. You mentioned losing your partner, which is so very difficult. Even though it has been awhile ago, it hurts none the less. I am glad you chose to share with us. i hope we can give you a little extra support. Take care. :hug:
  6. anonymouscharlie

    anonymouscharlie New Member

    I know how you feel. My mother has been a complete bitch to me, and it's hard not to let her affect me.
  7. wishful

    wishful Member your gay & your mother is Catholic...sometimes those are bad combinations. You say you got a new job, have always had a full time job & are not in debt. Who cares if your brother gets everything (it's not his fault your mother did this...she's playing you 2 off each other). You may never know the reasons why you feel she has been unkind to you since birth. It's not your problem to figure out. Tell your mom to have a nice life...move out (why are you still there) get your own place & do not rely on her @ all for any type of support. You can reach out to her if you want...if she accepts your invitations fine...if not well then @ least you have tried. Continue to send Mothers Day, Bday cards, etc ... and offer to meet up here & there. If she starts the BS again then tell her you're not putting up w/it & maybe ya'll can try again another time. You'll feel better standing up for yourself & being on your own & completely supporting yourself. As long as you're living w/her she will assume she has a hold you ...& she does to a degree. Good luck...go get 'em!!
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