my mum got raped

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by liam, Jun 12, 2009.

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  1. liam

    liam Member

    Last summer I found out my mum got raped when she was about 14..
    Suddenly all the odd things she's done and said make sense
    it's an odd feeling, when all the pieces fall into place you know what I mean?
    it's like her whole life has been shaped by that.
    I still don't know very much about it, just that he was about 6-7 years older than her and that they met at a party or something.
    still I can't really imagine my mum getting raped..
  2. Rene

    Rene Member

    Hi Liam,
    I am a woman who has been raped. I can say it does indeed change your personality, your view of the world, and usually not for the better. I am 36 years old, and I have become a person I don't even recognize from the fallout of what happened to me.

    I wanted to say I'm so glad to hear the compassion in your message for your mother, that you are trying to put yourself in her shoes and understand her. She is very fortunate to have a son like you. Give her all the love you can. I hope your mum knows what happened to her wasn't her fault. And make sure you take care of yourself while you come to terms with this news about your mother. Take care of yourself, Liam. There are many resources out there for "secondary survivors" of rape--for the friends and family of sexual assault survivors. Don't be afraid to look into these if you need support for yourself.
  3. Right U R Ken

    Right U R Ken Well-Known Member

    I have a friend that I care very much for who was raped. It rips my heart out to even think of it for a second. If that effects me so much I can't imagine how bad it feels when it's your mother.
  4. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    I found out something similar when I was younger. It went on for years and it really screwed my mother up.
    So yeah, feel free to PM me if you want to talk to someone who understands. :hug:
  5. Brighid Moon

    Brighid Moon Member & Antiquities Friend

    I found out that my mother was, too. And then I was as well. It does, indeed, explain a lot about behaviours. My mother was terrified the rest of her life and turned into a mouse. Now I'm terrified of everything as well, among other things. I wish good luck to your mother, and to you. You sound like such a caring, sweet person. :smile:
  6. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    I'm sorry everyone. If anyone needs to talk I am here.
  7. liam

    liam Member

    thanks for your replies everyone.
    I'm gonna keep what you've said in mind because yes, I've spent a lot of time thinking about this..
  8. TBear

    TBear Antiquities Friend

    I am a mother of seven wonderful children...

    I was abused/ raped as a child, raped as a teen, and then again as a college coed...

    It effected my choice of husband (their father) and still effects my interactions with others. On the one hand I feel so bad for them that their father was a horribly abusive and controlling man - I finally made him move out. On the other hand - they wouldn't be here if I hadn't married him.

    They don't know the details of my past - although I think my 21 year old suspects it...

    They are wonderful kids - I hope to help them so that they have a chance at some normalcy in life. From your point of view - is it better to know or not know about your mother?
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I'm sorry to hear that. :(

    Has she had any counselling?

    Im here if you need to talk x
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