My mum killed herself

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by kat82, Jun 17, 2008.

  1. kat82

    kat82 Member

    It's been three months ago since I lost my mum.. I still find myself getting shocked by the fact that she went through with it and that she's actually gone. Keep dreaming that she is still alive and that it was all just a mistake.. I know that she is gone, I feel the pain through every bone in my body, I just need it not to be true so bad. I don't know anybody who's been through what I'm going through and I know it's hard for others to relate and understand. I don't know, maybe it helps to talk to someone who's been through it. I appreciate if someone who relates would like to share some thoughts!
     
  2. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni

    I haven't been through that, but I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry. Glad you found this forum and you get some support. Drop by in the chat too. :hug:
     
  3. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry :( It must be very difficult when someone who is supposed to take care of you and be there for you commits suicide. And I do know from experience that losing a parent is very difficult. PM me if you ever want to talk about it. I'm glad you found us here and I hope you find the strength to fight through this and be happy again. This is a good place full of kind people. Welcome.
     
  4. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forums, Kat. :hug:
    I'm truly sorry about your loss. :sad: I haven't been through what you've been through, but I have lost my mother when I was a baby, so I might be able to relate a little bit. :hug:
    Feel free to talk about stuff, and also feel free to drop me a PM if you want to talk in private. :arms:
     
  5. notwanting2live

    notwanting2live Well-Known Member

    hi,

    i cant relate exactly what you are going through, but one of my best friends lost her mum 4 yrs ago, and i understood what agony and pain she went through. i can also relate, that 2 of my family members have died from suicide, they werent immediate family, like your mother was, but they are still family. i can relate the emotions that must be going through your head, and what physical and mental pain you are suffering. ive learned from this forum that people can talk to each other, people who have been in simular situations. i hope soon you will feel peace in your mind, heart and sole, and accept what has happened, but then discover the tru meaning of it. i mean this in a good way, well as much as i can, positive things can come out from negative. my friend, who lost her mum, helped me that. she has now made new relationships, with family that she did not know she had.

    take care, and PM me anytime..

    with love
    Sky
     
  6. Broken_Heart

    Broken_Heart Active Member

    I'm soooo sorry to hear that. I don't really know what to say, I haven't been through that. But I know how it feels to lose someone that you love. =[
     
  7. kat82

    kat82 Member

    Thank you all for kind response!
     
  8. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member

    welcome to the forum Kat.

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You must be feeling, confused, upset and angry but this is ok. Remember that your mums suicide is not your fault. You could not have stopped her but I only wish that like you she had found SF.

    Here if you need to talk.

    Take Care

    Sam
    x
     
  9. nagisa

    nagisa Chat & Forum Buddy Staff Alumni

    I am so, so sorry for your loss. :( :hug:
     
  10. Anon08

    Anon08 Guest

    I can relate to you. About 18 months ago my father took his own life. I still have dreams that he is still alive, the dreams are never past memories, just that he is still alive. Im a mess myself, so I don't know how much help I could be, but feel free to PM me.
     
  11. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am sorry for the loss of your mom. It is hard to lose a parent regardless of why, but losing them to suicide makes everything so much more difficult. It has not been that long a time since her pasiing so I am not surprised that you are still struggling and grieving. You may benefit from some online support sites that focus on loss to suicide such as survivors of suicide. Also see if there are any support groups in your area. I know many people that have been helped by attending these gatherings. You and your family are in my thoughts. :hug:
     
  12. Emerty

    Emerty New Member

    Kat82, as you can see from the date I joined this site you can see it's only been today. I have repeatedly thought of ending my life, I thought that my 3 children (24 27 & 29) would be better off without me, I feel as if I was a dreadful parent as their father and I couldn't stay together, I loved their Father but he wanted ever younger and prettier women on his arm. But I had, so selfishly never thought of the pain they would feel. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the post you sent, I will never forget and always appreciate that you and you alone have made me stop and step aside from the path I was on.... may you find peace dear dear girl x x x
     
  13. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    i am so so so sorry to hear that you have to go through this. somehow it just doesn't seem right, but i guess they are the facts. i can't really relate, but i did have a friend when i was growing up who lost his mother to suicide at a very young age. i'm here to tell you my heart just really went out to him, and might i add my heart certainly goes out to you. please continue to share as you feel like. we will all certainly do our best to support and help ya. please continue to take care.



    btw: :welcome: to sf we are so glad to have you here
     
  14. kat82

    kat82 Member

    Dear Emerty! Words can't describe what I felt when reading your message. You have no idea what that means to me, thank you for thinking of your children's best interest! Even though they are adults, they will always need you in their lives!! I would give anything to see my mum just one more time.. I wish you all the best! Take care! :)
     
  15. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I'm so sorry for your loss :hug: