My nan died the week before Christmas '08. She was my world, to say the least. I was closer to her than anyone in my life. I lived with her last year for 6 months, and when I was younger, because my mom and I didn't get on living together. So I lived with my nan until I got my own place. And now she's gone. She was brought to hospital a week and a half before christmas but she wasn't too sick, she was ok. I stayed over at the hospital with some of my family almost the whole time but they had to sedate my nan to help her fight the infection. Her diabetes made the infection she had shut down her organs. She died just when I left the hospital to change my clothes. I wasn't even with her. I haven't reeally talked much about it since the funeral to anyone, not even my girlfriend who was also close to her, because I'm afraid if i do I'll realize she's not coming back. And I don't know how to cope with that.