What would you say if a therapist your case was transferred to two months ago, sent you a letter that said you could not continue to see your psychiatrist unless you came in to speak with her in the next two weeks? I did say in late May that I would decide first week of June if I would continue therapy or not. So there was that. She knew the threat would force me to come in and talk with her because i fear abandonment. She admitted, after I agreed to see her as my T, that if I had failed to talk with her she was going to get my pdoc to side with her on my need to seek therapy. Yes he would have sided with her, she knew it and I know it. So she's resourceful and tricky. And insightful and infuriating. She forced me to look at her whenever my eyes drifted off, as if I decided to talk to a wall or chair. She kept rolling her chair in front of me. Ugh. So during our discussion we go over emotional regulation and safety as two primary goals. This coming from my previous therapist and group facilitor as critically important. But she said very casually, I'm seeing some personality issues. I knew what she was seeing but her perception surprised me. I asked her what she meant before our impromptu session ended and she used the phrase borderline personality. She assured me that it was no big deal and not to get caught up in it. Obviously I've been thinking about it... I won't know until Monday, when we discuss a treatment plan if it becomes part of her diagnosis. I did agree to start attending a DBT lite group. Thing is I have 5 solid and probably 6 of the 9 indicators of BPD, I have known this. I guess not being able or having to hide my relationship wars that go on in my head any longer can only help. It still terrifies me to have to talk about it. A long weekend ahead.