My new years eve

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by spidy, Jan 3, 2010.

  1. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Well simply what a sht day it was.Apart from being used up during the day once again by the ex was sent bck to my storage shed(as this is where i reside at the moment yes it roof but no power water etc just aa dark self storage unit)as she and her flat mate were having ppl over for drinks.Yes sat there had a few drinks by myself in tht dark shthole cut my arm up a bit to relieve bordom and then i decided to walk into town to watch fireworks wish i didnt as i sat there alone watching familys and others with friends enjoy themselfs.This just made me more depressed and in fact s/h was running real strong as this is what ive lost over the last year or two family and friends.I even bumped into a mate afterwards who i havnt seen for a while he asked me where i was living i told him didnt even batter an eye lid let alone couldnt even offer me a lift bck to my storage shed as its a long walk and on the way bck to his place.I felt very alone and bad thghts running thrgh my head so decided to ring crisis line just to be put on hold every 5 mins as they knew i was bit drunk and didnt take me serious which has made me loose confidence in any of these organisations as this is about the 2nd time ive been told nothing they can do.All i needed was for someone to calm me down needed to talk but they couldnt offer tht even thgh tht is what they advertise.So basically what i found out on this nght ppl will just keep treating ya like sht some will use ya for some thngs others just ignore ya basically i know im on my own.If this has made no sense dosnt matter just needed to say somethng just cant get sht out the way it should having probs of getting sht off my chest this is part of whats pissed me off in the last few days i just wish i spill my whole guts of the issues tht are killing me but hav ejust blocked up.I know this sounds like big whinge but putor screen all i have to talk too at moment.
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I know you're having a tough time getting things out right now, but what you said does make sense. Your post wasn't a whinge; it was you letting some stuff out, and you did okay. :hug: Sorry New Year's completely sucked for you. It's awful when you're feeling so bad, and the people around you do things to make you feel worse and push you even farther down.

    Just know that you can post here anytime. I'll always listen, and there are others here who will too. My PM box is always open if you feel like talking or just need to know someone cares.
  3. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    Hell sorry I missed you Gav. Wanted to tell you that you're not whingeing, and that on the other side of that computer screen is us - listening to you. Was going to say that you should keep talking, get all that stuff out in the open, those things you're hiding inside your head. Maybe next time you log on, you'll think about it - keep getting it out, whatever you're thinking and feeling.

    As for phoning that crisis line, I'm sorry they treated you like that, I guess as it was the holiday period they get a lot of calls from people who have been drinking, so maybe they didn't take it as seriously as they should have. Maybe you could get the numbers of other help lines too, like Samaritans, someone anonymous you could talk to if you get into that klnd of crisis state again. So you don't feel entirely alone.

    I'm so sorry you're being let down by people like this Gav, you've managed to get this far, keep going - things will start to come together eventually - you've got a mental health worker to talk to (even if it doesn't seem like much help, give it time) and you've still got us. We're on your side. :hug: