Wow what a ride… I have not posted in a while so time to fill in the blanks. It’s November 27th. I have been out of the hospital for almost 2 months and on my new meds for about the same. I have been working so hard to get things sorted out with my friends, family everybody in my life. I start treatment with my new counselor in the beginning of December. I am so excited to get things going again. I was diagnosed with sever depression when I was 11 years old. It has stuck with me all the way through my life. About 6 years ago I developed horrible anxiety attacks and bad social phobias. I was determined never to give up. I attempted suicide many times in the last 10 or so years but I always put my foot down and just tried to work harder. I am not 100% today and I don’t ever expect to be. I have been to hell and back. Shook the devils hand and kissed his cheek. No matter what comes my way, I will face it head on. I am a fighter and I always will be. There is just too much beauty to quit, to many people to see, and places to go. I will see my ex one day but I am going to take my time to get there. I never ever in my wildest dreams thought I would be able to come out of this. I had written my family goodbye letters in case I didn’t make it through. But here I am. It wasn’t easy, probably the hardest most stressful unimaginable pain I had to go through to get here. It is so worth it. My only wish would be that nobody ever has to go through this. I understand that that is really never going to happen, but I want to make myself available to those who want to stick it out. For the fighters who won’t give up! I am here. Thank you so much for this forum! It has gotten me through so much! And for those people who helped me make it to where I am! wheresmysheep (Emma), Arcturus (B), Praedor (Chris), Rach!, Veeeeeeevz!, Sarahg, Harry, Ron, Nathan, Narc (Tyler), Murko!, Joe! I am sooo sorry if I have forgotten anybody! My memory is horrible! Thank you so much to everybody on this forum that has taken the time to chit chat with me! You guys are some of the most amazing people in this world and I would give anything to hug each and every one of you! Hugs and Kisses Victoria!