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My only friend is gone

#1
So, as some might know in my previous post (not that it’s that relevant anyways) I said that I started at a new school 2 weeks ago and that I don’t feel welcome or good about it at all. Changing schools isn’t an option and my parents aren’t supportive of the idea of changing AT ALL. They don’t care about how I feel. The girls make me feel like nothing. I don’t feel seen or listened to. I get ignored and nobody wants to sit with me. Don’t get me wrong, I am not expecting everyone to fricking love me and stuff, I too, am trying really hard to fit in and talk to every one in hopes of making a friend. My only ”friend” or a girl that I clicked with after a week, is now changing schools. She hates it here to, and she feels like I do. She will be changing tomorrow. I am left with nothing... Even if there have only gone 2 weeks, it hurts seeing them sleep over and laugh in the halls together like they’re already bestfriends. Peope have way worse problems than me, I am aware of that. I don’t wan’t anybody to feel sorry for me, I just need to vent. All I waa trying to say with this long ass text is that I am afraid that I’ll never fit in. I’ll never get friends, and I’ll forever eat lunch alone. I don’t know what to do since they don’t include me in anything and they don’t seem like they want me to get into their ”group”. I’ve tried, only to get ignored multiple times.
 

Walker

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#4
I think that a transfer of schools is the absolute worst thing you can consider at this point. Switching schools is hard. It's not easy for anyone. You made a friend in that time which is great. (The point here isn't that she's leaving the school, just that you managed to make a friend in that time period) Changing schools again only resets that awkward time that you have to spend trying to get to know others again.
So what do you do? It sounds like you're probably open to many types of people so that's great. Move around locations as much as you can. Eat in a different place for lunch, take breaks in different places. Have you looked at anything extra curricular yet? People with the same interests are often just more likely to start talking and get along. It's still early in the school year so friendship groups aren't guilty formed but even if they were you can find ways to work your way into hanging out with others. There are always people looking for more friends. There are countless in that school needing a friend - you just have to find them.
 

tlaud

Well-Known Member
#5
I replied yesterday, and similar to Walker, I also think extracurricular activities may provide a group with similar interests. Sometimes good things happen when you least expect it.
 
#6
I think that a transfer of schools is the absolute worst thing you can consider at this point. Switching schools is hard. It's not easy for anyone. You made a friend in that time which is great. (The point here isn't that she's leaving the school, just that you managed to make a friend in that time period) Changing schools again only resets that awkward time that you have to spend trying to get to know others again.
So what do you do? It sounds like you're probably open to many types of people so that's great. Move around locations as much as you can. Eat in a different place for lunch, take breaks in different places. Have you looked at anything extra curricular yet? People with the same interests are often just more likely to start talking and get along. It's still early in the school year so friendship groups aren't guilty formed but even if they were you can find ways to work your way into hanging out with others. There are always people looking for more friends. There are countless in that school needing a friend - you just have to find them.
I am not 21. I know that it probably is very bad that I lied but I really need somebody to talk to sometimes. I’m sorry. Thank you so much for caring to respond, maybe I’m overreacting but I have been bullied and ignored by school peers when I was smaller and I just feel the same vibes here too. I don’t look like my class mates, I don’t dress like them and that MIGHT be the reason to all this. They just don’t want me there, I know it. I’ve heard it and I’ve seen it. I will try my hardest to make a friend, even if my trying feels weak at this point. Thank you again ❤️
 
#7
I replied yesterday, and similar to Walker, I also think extracurricular activities may provide a group with similar interests. Sometimes good things happen when you least expect it.
Right, thank you ❤️ I will do my best and also just hope for the best in this situation.
 

tlaud

Well-Known Member
#8
Thanks for writing back. If we do nothing, then it may stay the same. If we try to do something, then it may work out.

As I replied yesterday, you have some skills in that mind of yours, otherwise you wouldn't be at your school. Hang in there.
 

Walker

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#9
I am not 21. I know that it probably is very bad that I lied but I really need somebody to talk to sometimes. I’m sorry.
We're not worried about how old you are here as long as you're old enough to be on the site and it sounds as though you are. I've removed your year of birth from your profile for now as that attracts attention from others that I'd prefer, as admin here, for you not to have, if you know what I mean.
Having your correct age on the site, on the other hand, does attract others your same age. We have a lot of people here who are high school aged. Some of them are off wandering about working on school at the moment so they're more "in and out" but lots of 15-18 year olds here. Esp girls.

I don’t look like my class mates
How do you look different? Physically or the way you dress?

I will try my hardest to make a friend, even if my trying feels weak at this point.
You already made 1 friend in this short time and that's an accomplishment. I am positive you can do it again. Making friends is a skill and it's not easy.
 
#10
I am not 21. I know that it probably is very bad that I lied but I really need somebody to talk to sometimes. I’m sorry.
We're not worried about how old you are here as long as you're old enough to be on the site and it sounds as though you are. I've removed your year of birth from your profile for now as that attracts attention from others that I'd prefer, as admin here, for you not to have, if you know what I mean.
Having your correct age on the site, on the other hand, does attract others your same age. We have a lot of people here who are high school aged. Some of them are off wandering about working on school at the moment so they're more "in and out" but lots of 15-18 year olds here. Esp girls.

I don’t look like my class mates
How do you look different? Physically or the way you dress?

I will try my hardest to make a friend, even if my trying feels weak at this point.
You already made 1 friend in this short time and that's an accomplishment. I am positive you can do it again. Making friends is a skill and it's not easy.
I am 16. An update here, I’m currently sitting alone. I fucking hate this. Everyone just left class and when I asked where they were going nobody answered. Do I have to try harder? Am I overreacting? Am I too sensetive? Am I asking for too much? I don’t know. When I tell my mom about all this she doesn’t actually even care to listen. I just want to go home. I’m so lonely.
 

Walker

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#11
Hi again
Being alone really does suck. Hell, being 16 *sucks* and being at a new school sucks. All of it is just crap, right? No one here is going to argue that. I'm sorry your mom doesn't really get it. Sometimes parents have a hard time remembering what it was like to be this age. Or maybe she's having a hard time transitioning as well.
Do you think you can look at some clubs or activities after school?
 
#12
I will preface this with two facts - I have no experience as a girl (from what I hear friendships can be more difficult) and I'm not sure what the culture is like where you are.

I've never been popular (I'm not a "social butterfly" - in fact it's something I find pretty difficult - nor am I particularly like-able) so I understand what you're going through. However, I have managed to build a decent group of friends. I think the advice given before is solid - a good way to make friends is finding people who have similar interests or personalities to you, and a good way to do that is clubs. For example, I have a friend who I enjoy discussing the news with, a friend who is interested in video games and a friend with similar humor. If you look for people with similar interests and are generally nice, I am sure you can find friends.

p.s. don't worry about people "having worse problems than you". At least in my opinion, if these issues are affecting you, that more than qualifies you for support, whether or not it's "worse than other people's". Don't worry about it.

I hope you can feel better soon. Sending hugs *sadhug.
 
#13
Hi again
Being alone really does suck. Hell, being 16 *sucks* and being at a new school sucks. All of it is just crap, right? No one here is going to argue that. I'm sorry your mom doesn't really get it. Sometimes parents have a hard time remembering what it was like to be this age. Or maybe she's having a hard time transitioning as well.
Do you think you can look at some clubs or activities after school?
I sure will, at least i’ll try my best to do that. Thank you and I will probably post more about this situation since it isn’t getting better
 
#14
Hi again
Being alone really does suck. Hell, being 16 *sucks* and being at a new school sucks. All of it is just crap, right? No one here is going to argue that. I'm sorry your mom doesn't really get it. Sometimes parents have a hard time remembering what it was like to be this age. Or maybe she's having a hard time transitioning as well.
Do you think you can look at some clubs or activities after school?
I will preface this with two facts - I have no experience as a girl (from what I hear friendships can be more difficult) and I'm not sure what the culture is like where you are.

I've never been popular (I'm not a "social butterfly" - in fact it's something I find pretty difficult - nor am I particularly like-able) so I understand what you're going through. However, I have managed to build a decent group of friends. I think the advice given before is solid - a good way to make friends is finding people who have similar interests or personalities to you, and a good way to do that is clubs. For example, I have a friend who I enjoy discussing the news with, a friend who is interested in video games and a friend with similar humor. If you look for people with similar interests and are generally nice, I am sure you can find friends.

p.s. don't worry about people "having worse problems than you". At least in my opinion, if these issues are affecting you, that more than qualifies you for support, whether or not it's "worse than other people's". Don't worry about it.

I hope you can feel better soon. Sending hugs *sadhug.
Thank you so much❤️ I love the support I’m getting. Sitting in class, post later.
 

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