My ordeal

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Fox in the Woods, May 10, 2010.

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  1. Fox in the Woods

    Fox in the Woods Active Member

    I was raped by my ex boyfriend a few months ago. He spiked my drink on New Years Eve with high levels of alcohol and raped me. It was my first time ever having sexual intercourse as well. After that, we were still together because I believed that somehow I had brought it upon myself from the dress that I was wearing (which he picked out) and just my personality and stupidity. He expected then after to be able to have sex with me when ever he wanted. He wanted sex in a bar once and when I refused he yelled at me and told me that a was a nut case and mentally unstable because I was on Zoloft (a low dose). When we broke up, we went to a bar and he tried to hit on me and get back together with me even though he said that he confessed to only being with me because he found me sexually attractive. He told me I was stupid and he was much smarter than me. He tried again to rape me but this time I fought him off.

    I have not pressed charges because I want it all to go away. I just want to lead a normal life. I did though go to a doctor to get a referal to see a psychologist. He told me to "get over it and find someone who will f*ck you like you like to be f*cked". I have done what he has said. I have tried to lead a normal life and move on but I can't. I feel so guilty and dirty from what has happened. I don't feel as though I am living anymore. My family and friends don't understand this. I don't know what else to do.
    I tried to kill myself by drowning myself in a lake a few months ago, but my mum found me.

    I have no idea where to go or turn. There are no services for rape victims that I have found near me.

    Please help.
  2. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    I'm really sorry that you had to go through with this.

    Can i just clarify, was it the psychologist who told you to 'get over it'?

    Could you perhaps tell us where you live and people might be able to suggest some services to help support you.
  3. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    I was going to ask the same thing (about the psychologist) because if he did say that he needs to be reported.

    Likewise I am so sorry this happened to you and I think reporting it may help with closure.
    Do your family or does anybody close to you know what happened?
  4. Fox in the Woods

    Fox in the Woods Active Member

    It was my doctor. I wanted to get a referal to a psych because then it's cheaper than just going to a psych straight away because of the Medicare plan.

    I live in Australia. I am assuming that most people on this site are American though so I dunno if you can really help me there. But if you think you can: I live in Melbourne in the state of Victoria. I don't think we have services for rape victims over here which is sad.

    My ex who raped me won't count it as rape and my parents don't want me to report it. They see it as my fault. I have no evidence against him but my word. I am scared too as well. He'll get his friends to gang up on me and everything.

    My parents and a friend of mine know about it. My parents aren't the most sensitive of people though.

    Thank you for trying to help
  5. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    I am from Australia but in another state. I'll try and find out some resources for you though.

    I just want to say, even if you don't/can't believe it right now...that this is not your fault.

    I'm sorry that your parents are not supporting you through this. But you need to do what is best for you right now.

    I am absolutely disgusted that you were spoken to like that :(
  6. shamps

    shamps Well-Known Member

    I think it is dispicable what your doctor said to you and I dont think you should be nervous about reporting that either.He is supposed to be there for support not to make you feel guilty.

    I myself are from the uk so wouldnt be able to suggest anything in your area as I dont know it but please feel free to pm if you ever need to talk.Im not here for exactly the same reason as you but I feel your pain and know what its like to suffer and would like you to know that you will find lots of support here.

  7. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

  8. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    what happened was not your fault ...don't believe what he said about you being a nutcase either....
    I'm glad you fought him off the second time..well done..
    I reckon you need to find another doctor (who will refer you to a phsycologist or a councelor )and who will treat you with the respect you deserve...
  9. ysoemo

    ysoemo New Member

    damn.. i may be a troll. but being raped is serious.. i hope your okay

    anything i could do to help?
  10. torus

    torus Member

    I'm very sorry to hear of your experience!

    "get over it and find someone who will f*ck you like you like to be f*cked"

    seriously? a "psychologist" said this? and this piece of human garbage is advising you and others on how to feel better? Don't you get it? if you desire to be "fuc*ed",
    well, ask and thou shall receive. as in "f-cked up" "fuc*ed around" and "fuc*ed over..." oh yeah, what other worked is used to express contempt, rage, hostility, etc AND expres what is supposed to be a loving communion of two people who respect and love one another.
  11. Fox in the Woods

    Fox in the Woods Active Member

    Thanks everyone for your support. I told my one of my teachers at uni what had happened and she got me in touch with the counselling staff at uni. Unfortunately for me, they are post grad students doing an internship not fully accreditted psychologists. It costs less and my parents wouldn't have ever had to know that I was going there...but stuff happened and they found out. They're fine with it as long as they don't have to deal with issue themselves. I didn't want to go to a psych because it costs a lot of money and my parents would have to be involved because I don't work at the moment and they'd use it as an opportunity to bully me. It would be nice to be treated my a proffessional, but I don't think that's possible.

    I think I really scared the psych (well trainee psych) at uni. I told her everything that happened. I couldn't bring myself to tell her what had happened when she asked me straight out. I just started crying and couldn't speak. But we talked about other stuff and eventually I told her what happened. As I was walking out of the room and down the hall she said to the girl "Oh my God? How am I supposed to deal with that?". I don't know what to do. Everywhere I turn there is an obstacle. I'm trapped.
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