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My Overdosing Experience

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I am now 26 years old. I attempted suicide when i was 14. I have a miserable childhood. All my life i lived as a child and now as a young boy, i hate myself. How can my father beat me so bitterly. He also beat my mother once. One night i overdose on different types of blood pressure and diabaties pills. I did not remember the exact amount of pills but it guess it was approx 50 tables in total. Then i sleep that night and then the morning came. I found my self in the washroom with unbelieable pain in my stomach. Then i start vomiting. I did not tell anybody at home. Nor did i get the treatment. I felt miserable from that day till today. I wish i died that night. I now that i have a very slow and painfull death for me. My question is to God? Why did he send me on this earth. I always wish to be a good person. I cant see others in pain. Whey did he save me for that day which i am currently right now. Does God Love his mans. I have been begging to God to forgive my sins and get me out of the situation now. But it seems God does not care about me. Any thoughts????????
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