I used to self harm, mainly by cutting myself. It felt good, it felt real. It reminded me I was alive when I felt completely dead inside. I stopped, I started being able to control it, but now everything's going weird. I haven't started cutting again, my scars are healing really well, you can't even see the I hate me i carved into my hand anymore really, and the lines on my wrist are so faint. But now my body seems to be giving up. My hair is falling out, not just a bit, huge clumps of it. It's really worrying my partner, i don't know what to do, i just pull my fingers through my hair and a huge clump falls out. And I can't stop scratching myself. My skin permanently itches and I'm scratching so badly sometimes I start bleeding, but still my skin itches. I don't want to self harm that's not it, but im doing it anyway because my body is acting up. Is my body psychologically telling me to cut? would my hair stop falling out and my skin stop itching if i did? i feel like i have a tick, or some disease. I hate myself.