My own Clock Tower Prison....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Shezamura, Apr 7, 2009.

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  1. Shezamura

    Shezamura Well-Known Member

    The days are counting down... and it hasnt gotten better yet... at all... I told myself... that If my heart... hasn't begun the healing process that it is supposed to... then I'm cutting... cutting till I die... cutting till there is nothing left... Each day I will leave a scar... whether it be a symbol, a picture... or even a word.... by this time... my life should have been going a different direction... instead... I'm dieing... I'm tired... I want to bleed it out... my heart has been imprisoned... and the days are counting down... down to our anniversary day... April 23rd, 2005... now its only 16 days left before I make the first swing... I don't have anything to look forward to... I gave all my dreams into our relationship and it was nothing in the end... I love her still... I was so happy for those 3 1/2 years... I can only be tormented with those dreams of never ending wants.... This is my prison... and its clock is ticking each second to my destruction... and I don't care... cause no one who is real... could ever love me again.... I just wanted to live my happily ever after... and I cant now... cause I gave all my special firsts to her... those "firsts" can be brought back... virginity cant be regained... first kiss... first love... first everything... my dream was to be with the woman who had all of these things... and now.. .shes gone... and so should I... be gone forever... and ever... and after.... burning in hell.... In this Clock Tower Prison...
     
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You are going thru the first stage of greif, the greiving stage..I remember it well..My relationship was for six years, we were engaged, bought a house to gether, two new vehicles, and had good paying jobs..Then one day she started cheating on me and started staying away for two days at a time. Then it became a week at a time. All thriugh this I tried to show her how much I loved her.. It was to late, a guy she worked with got her strung out on cocaine..I greived for her for six months and then I went to stage two anger..Thats all it took for me to open my eyes and see it wasn't my fault..I tried to OD twice in that first year and obviously I failed..My point is you need time but things will get better..I wish you luck!!!
     
  3. Righteous

    Righteous Well-Known Member

    Dog, don't do it. U will be giving these bitches too much power if u kill yourself because of one. Do what I do and start dealing with prostitutes and strippers. U can find plenty of call girls in the yellow pages under the escort section. U might even get fortunate and find u a stripper who will be willing 2 please u.

    Look, I've went through a relationship with a girl that I really liked and it ended badly after about 3 years. But instead of crying and feeling depressed all of the time, I just went out and started getting prostitutes and strippers 2 please me. I even know where a brothel is now. After my last relationship, I just figured that maybe it isn't meant for me to have a girlfriend. I just thank God for the the prostitutes and strippers that He allows me to come across because that way of life is better than being lonely.
     
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