My parents are stressing me

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by neens, Sep 24, 2010.

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  1. neens

    neens Member

    Hi I'm new here, I've been depressed since I started a new school in high school, after I spent one and a half year in mental therapy. In my old school I only had one friend, and was pretty lonley. and since my parents divorced at my age of 6 they need to care about themselves and trying to survive, so they dont care about little me. My brother that is one and a half year older picks on me for not doing anything than sitting by the computer. I've tried to ignore him. Now my dad got a new wife, who got a job in politics. She is very power demanding and always yells at me for not caring about school. She is mostly right.

    I got insomnia and big problems with getting up in the mornings, and she've always looked at me in a bad way. I turned 15 some week ago, and since that she have been yelling at me that I need to steer my life right and I need to care about myself to get a good future. I run by bike to school, and every time I pass that big hill I just get the feeling to run down really fast and right out in traffic. But I've always stopped myself. Probably not for long thought, the last hope is running out.

    When I get to my school, I'm usually 15-30 minutes late, and without a word I try to avoid all the evily smiling faces. After some hours trying to concentrate (usually failing), its lunch. Which means I'll go take food and then throwing it because I dont like it. Then I go sleep on my desk. Then its class again and I dont understand what they are talking about, and I dont get any good help, just "think for yourself" or "I know you can do it".

    Then I go home and goes to my computer without caring about my homework. I always try to do it but the constant failing makes me depressed, I get all these bad thoughts about how bad I am at everything and then I go cry on my bed until I fall asleep.

    I dont know what to do, I dont even believe in myself. it feels like no one cares about me and that I should end my life before I dissapoint more people.

    (And YES, I know I got food on a plate and shelter over my head and a bed to sleep in, but you dont know what I have before you've lost it.)
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and glad you posted.. Your step mother sounds way too judgemental...People do not change by being made to feel poorly about themselves...even if some of what she is say is right, the only way to have children change with postive regard for themselves is through caring and are trying your best...continue to see if you can get a tutor or some you have any learning difficulties that might not have been noticed? in any case, glad you shared with us and please continue to know we do care about you here and want you to be safe...big hugs, J
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Instead of having step mom yell at you and make you feel like worthless get her to go to school for you and set up tutoring for you get her to get you some help so you can understand and learn Ask her if it is possible for her to speak to the coucillors and teachers to get you some extra help maybe then you will try again. I hope you and your step mom can come to some agreement on how to help you not harm you even more.
  4. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Mikael. Sorry to hear that you're having a rough time with school and your step mom. I'm sure that she means well, but she sounds like she can be pretty mean. If you're having a hard time understanding your work at school, you could always see your teachers for extra help. I'm a teacher too and I teach kids your age. School can be tough at times, but you have to try your best. Don't give up. :hug:
  5. Shezz

    Shezz Member

    Hey, sup Mikael.

    Yeah, I had that pressure through school too. Had to go look for a job during college just so I can get out of it. Life is hard. But it's good that you came here, so don't feel ad. You're not a loser, and you're not alone. Your stepmom seems like a royal b&$%...but don't throw away your life because of her. That'll mean she'll have won. And trust don't want anyone winning over you. Stay strong, sweetie. We're here. And we always will be.


    Crush them, hun...Star Wars style!

  6. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    Have you considered trying to get an IEP or the Swedish equivalent? If you are having problems in school, they can help you learn the material.
  7. Pow

    Pow Well-Known Member

    Well to me it sounds like a cycle. Your getting behind schoolwork and you step mum is worried so she pushes you to try harder. All this seems to overwhelm you so I suggest go talk to your step mum about your troubles at keeping up with subjects and she might go to school and they can arrange things so that it won't put on as much pressure on you.
    It seems to me that you haven't told anyone and this is all bottling up so I think you should break the cycle by telling someone you trust. After getting all schoolwork out of the way you way feel less stressed meaning you can sleep better and get your eating habits back into shape.
  8. neens

    neens Member

    Thanks for all the kind words everyone, I talked to her and she said she was pushing me because she wants me to succeed, and I said she puches me too hard. She said she understands and that she will help me with schoolwork instead of pushing me to do it myself which I cant do, so it might get better now.

  9. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    So glad you spoke to her and that you and she have a plan to help you...keep up the good work and let us know how it goes...big hugs, J
  10. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    Sounds like you've taken a step in the right direction. Hopefully, you will be better able to handle the stress with her supporting you.
  11. neens

    neens Member

    Today, she drove me to the school, and helped me with my lessions, explained to me what I didnt understand in my book, and kept away the bullies. This day was heaven. She also talked to the pricipal about the bullies and who they are, and she is really good at convincing, so I might even go to court with them and I might even get money for getting bullied!

    Thanks for all the advice and support people, you've given me hope back. <3
  12. Punk

    Punk Well-Known Member

    Communication is the key and you have overcome that really hard barrier. Communicating with a step parent can be a double edged sword easy one way and yet very hard another.
  13. neens

    neens Member

    Today, she helped me to find a new school. it's a special school for people with social problems, and I'll start on monday. I hope my life will get better from now, and that I can get a good job in the future.
  14. Akita

    Akita Well-Known Member

    Wow, I've never heard of a place like that. Good luck! :)
  15. No1_knows_me

    No1_knows_me Active Member

    That sounds great. I hope everything will go well and that you'll overcome your problems.
  16. mulberrypie

    mulberrypie Well-Known Member

    yay!!! im so happy for you <3
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 29, 2010
  17. neens

    neens Member

    I'm getting a chance to restart and yet all I can think of is the urge to cut myself...
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