my parents just caught me..

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by alison, Mar 7, 2010.

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  1. alison

    alison Well-Known Member

    throwing up. I told them I was just feeling sick, and they dont' have a real reason not to believe me (they've never caught me before, and I rarely throw up naturally .. so statistically its not unusual). But just ughhh, I feel like I have to be extra careful now, because if they hear me again, say tomorrow.. then things will get complicated. Also, I just really hate lying to them.

    its just stupid, I feel like a disgusting, dramatic liar. stupid stupid stupid
  2. Young suicider

    Young suicider Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry to ask but why are you throwing up.

    Are you doing a med?

    Our physically forcing it?
  3. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    I'm sorry, hun. :( :hug: I know how humiliating that can be. Maybe this could be a chance for you to tell them what you're going through? :hug:
  4. alison

    alison Well-Known Member

    youngsuicider - bulimia basically

    misguided ghost - thanks. i dunno, i don't think i can tell them. at least not right now.
  5. Young suicider

    Young suicider Well-Known Member

    Alison you have to tell them soon.People have hurt themselves doing that to much.
  6. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member


    I know its hard but you need to be honest with them. They would want to help you. Tbh with you they probably already know and have heard you many tmes before but just askedyou this once to see wht your reaction and answer will be. They are your parents as well thy have known you all your life and so know what you are like and when you are not tellingthe complete truth and when you are.

    Hun you are not disgusting or a lier. You are scared and alone and upset or so u feel. Just let your parents in to help.

    Here if u want to talk.

  7. alison

    alison Well-Known Member

    Thanks guys, but I dunno. I'm actually an adult (22 yrs old) living back home while going to grad school... so my parents shouldn't have to deal with this, you know?

    Also, I'm still disillusioned into thinking this is in control and I can stop whenever I want (I know.. probably wrong.. but yea, that's where I am).
  8. alison

    alison Well-Known Member

    oh jeez.. I just reread this, and this part freaked me out. I'm so scared/ashamed. :unsure:
  9. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member

    It wasn't meant to scare u just to try and reassure you. They could be concerned. I am not saying that they have heard you before but I know when I was using laxatives my parents didnt ask me until day 3 or 4 of the week I was with the if I was ok or not. I too lied to them and said that I think that I might have a stomach bug but deep down I knew that they knew.

    As I said this couldve been the first time.

    "I'm actually an adult (22 yrs old) living back home while going to grad school... so my parents shouldn't have to deal with this, you know?"

    What are parents for if not to look after their children. Believe it or not we never grow up in our parents eyes....we are still their little girl or little boy. They still want to protect us but know that as an adult we should be given the chance to protect ourselves but they are always there to pick up the pieces when things go wrong or we become ill or need a helping hand. All u fit into. I to am 22 (well in a few weeks time) and in uni so I understand the pressure you can be under. I also understand how scared you feel and the ashamed feelings. I Live with my parents in holidays and by myself or with friends in term time and it is hard to go home and have to act as if everything is normal when it clearly isn't.

  10. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member

    It is ok to ask for help :)
  11. alison

    alison Well-Known Member

    thank you, that means a lot. i feel less alone... but honestly bulimia isn't my biggest problem at the moment.

    off topic, but i decided to try being honest to my therapist today and now she's trying to get me hospitalized next week - she says i'm 'in danger' (?) because i overdose at night on random things hoping one night i'll 'accidentally' overdose and die. i know it was stupid to tell her.. but i didn't think being careless was 'actively suicidal' and i'm not even sure if i have a say in this hospitalization thing or not and somehow i have to tell my parents anyways. so yea.. sorry to go off topic, but throwing up is now the least of my worries. :(
  12. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    You should be hospitalized if you are trying to overdose. It isn't a pleasant death (in fact it's downright horrible) and it can severely damage your liver if you survive. Have you considered the possibility that you change your mind about suicide? What then? Do you want to have a dodgy liver for the rest of your life? I don't want to be too harsh here, but I think you are making the wrong decisions, and I think hospitalization sounds like the best thing for you right now.

    And good for you for telling your therapist about what you are doing, it's a step in the right direction.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 9, 2010
  13. alison

    alison Well-Known Member

    Thank you for responding, and I hope I don't sound like I'm snapping back at you, because I really do appreciate what you said... but I'm not making bad decisions on purpose. I know they're wrong, but binging and throwing up is one of the few ways I cope through the day and I can't control it. The overdosing is mostly to help me fall asleep because anxiety is worse at night, but it also calms me to think that maybe I won't wake up. That's why I don't look at it as suicidal per-say.. but more just being careless/apathetic. I dunno. You're right, they are bad decisions.. but they're all i've got at the moment.
  14. lonercarrot

    lonercarrot Well-Known Member

    I always feel it's fine to lie to protect yourself. I only think the people who lie to build themselves up or to impress others are the bad ones. (Like lying about how many girls you slept with or how many push ups you can do) Lying to be vain and lying out of necessity are two different things.
  15. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member


    Being honest with your T is good. I understand why you OD like that to. To be hospitalised there needs to be agreement between three doctors and so she is prob talking to other people. Often though it is Voluntary and if they ask u to go in Voluntary then go because they will treat you a lot better. Sometimes hospital helps because the doctors n nurses know why your there and by that look after you giving you a rest. This in itself can help you feel better and the nurses are really understanding. Another point to make is that it would be a few things that you are doing that is making the T think about hospitalisation not just the OD'ing.

    Sleep is hard at the best of times but OD'ing really doesn't work and isn't good for your body and u end up Vomiting and with massive abdominal pains and either sleep or vomit for a day or two afterwards.

    Do what your Therapist suggests. They want to help you get better. Hospital isn't for everyone but it can help you get back on your feet. You were honest for a reason and I think that reason was because you are scared of what you are doing. And that is a perfectly good reason to me. U have been very very brave and that is admirable. I would wait until u hear abouth whether hosp is gonna happen or not and if it does then write your parents a note.

    Keep in touch I'm here for u 2 talk to :)

  16. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member

    P.s. U can start afresh. Hospital can help you gain better coping skills. Things that help you without you feeling for running to the food n loo or pills. It helps break the cycle and gives u a break from yourself to.

  17. stuckinchicago6

    stuckinchicago6 Well-Known Member

    My bulimia just started back up really heavily for the first time since I was 18. Although, I will always throw up every couple of months. The past five months have gotten really bad again. I will do it at least a few times a week. I would freak out if anybody were to find out. The only thing that stops me is thinking about how puffy and unattractive my face looks after and how my teeth will get messed up.
  18. alison

    alison Well-Known Member

    ^^ I'm sorry its started up for you again :(

    I compromised with my therapist and didn't have to go to inpatient.. I made a bunch of promises about calling her if I wasn't safe, etc.

    I've been a mostly good girl lately. Its been about a week since I've taken any drugs. Yesterday I kinda slipped up and drank a little bit, minor SI, and purged a little - but just a teensy bit cause I way overate and felt like my stomach was going to explode. It sounds worse than it actually was. Before This past week and a little bit, I was taking lots of different drugs, so I went through a lot of withdrawal symptoms (i think mostly from the vicodin) but I'm off of everything. Also, I was purging as much food as I could get up several times a day, so going a whole week with just a teensy purge was pretty major. And the SI was just a tiny burn, it wasn't really a big deal comparatively.

    I am going to partial hospitalization though starting this monday. wish me luck? :) I hope it fixes me lol.
  19. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    Good luck!! I really hope you get the help you need and start to get better and have a healthier way of looking at food and your body. :hug: :hug:
  20. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member

    You'll never regret getting help to at least start some type of healing...the road is not easy but the sooner, the better chance of having a life of beauty, friends, work and good times.

    I am now 34 years old and have been battling anorexia with bulimic tendencies since I was in 3rd grade. My father refused hospitalization as he was prideful and embarrassed. I've been depressed since 3 yrs old. The only thing I know, is being steady job in the pas, only dated 1 gentlemen, in and out of ER's and medical bills from the last 15 years. My only stability right now is a job I have in healthcare and now I am on medical leave.....

    I wish you the most on your journey of hope, love and cohesive healing.
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