My parents

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by AlexDanish, Oct 8, 2009.

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  1. AlexDanish

    AlexDanish Account Closed

    Make me so damned depressed. They act like teenagers sometimes, and it makes me feel like shit. It's one thing if it's someone at school, but when it happens at home I can't even escape.

    Ever since I was a young kid they always made me feel bad. My mother used to call me awful names, she used to scream devils child at me. I was fucking 8 or 9, I had no idea why. I would do things that weren't even bad, like playing my gameboy an extra couple of minutes, and I would get spanked, and sometimes she'd hit me with a spatula or other objects. My father wouldn't come home until 8:00pm most of the days, and I was in bed. And even if I wasn't, he'd be eating or doing something more important.

    I think I know what happened. My parents just brought me up in a den of loneliness and hostility... It must be why I look to my friends and other people for love, more than they can give. The reason I'm so clingy, and emotional with relationships with people. The reason for my hostility sometimes. My anger can burn at my parents for long periods of time.

    Tonight my mother cut off my cell phone, and the problem with her is she doesn't communicate. She just stomps on down and screams, yells, cries, and makes me feel awful. Tonight I was playing the drums, and she storms down, grabs them and hits me across the face with them.

    It makes me feel so damn shitty. I just don't know how I can deal. They're worse than I am, so emotionally up and down...
  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member


    It is awful that you are having to go through this. Do you have an alternative place to live? How old are you?

    Please keep posting. We can help you find your way through it.
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Sounds like your parents, especially your mom have their own major issues they need to deal with. From the picture you painted, your dad sounds like he stays at work to escape and when he is home avoids your mom and you to keep himself "safe" from having to deal with things. Your mom sounds like a very frustrated woman and needs to learn how to redirect her anger rather than taking it out on her family. You sound like you try to find things that will help you hide away from it all, the video games and your music.
    Not a healthy situation at all for any one of you hun.
    Maybe it's time that you all consider some family counselling so that each one has an equal opportunity to share what issues they feel important and then as a group working towards fixing them. You could also seek out your own help. Maybe a teen support group or school group that deals with family issues. A counsellor at school that you could possibly ask for resources to what it is you need.
    Your parents have their own set of issues and unfortunately some of those are spilling into your personal life and affecting it. So Alex think about working on the things you need to make better for you first. Then get your parents involved. But please dont forget, your parents are probably doing the best they can as well under their circumstances. Oh yeah it may not be the best for all but the best they manage with the problems they are facing each day too.
    So please hun think about finding and working on some solutions for yourself. Once you find some solid support and strength, confront your parents about doing the same for themselves and maybe with everyone finally working on the same page your story will have a happier ending.
  4. Ordep

    Ordep Well-Known Member

    I agree with itmahanh, some family couselling is in order because that situation as it is, cannot hold up. It doesn't seem any of you is happy with that situation. But from personal experience, it's possible they'll refuse the counselling so that might not be an easy thing to achive.

    Nevertheless, you can work this out. At the worst case scenario, you just have to wait till you're old enough to move somewhere else (if you're not already). I know the situation is stressful and I understand how you feel, I'm there with you. But going after your dreams and keeping yourself busy and as much away as possible from that family drama might be your best option if your parents won't listen to reason.

    You can work your way out of that mess, you just have to keep your focus on your real goals.
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