nihilism, if you will. i get thoughts daily that anything i feel might give meaning to my life really doesn't. relationships end, anything i write will be forgotten, and experiences like fun or love pass all to quickly. everything about life on earth, regardless of whether there's an afterlife, is left behind with death, and with the pending red dwarf of the sun, everything will die. what's the point? living in the moment is irrelevant when the moment passes.