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My past is always haunting me..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by wanttodie, Oct 18, 2007.

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  1. wanttodie

    wanttodie Well-Known Member

    I just can't get rid of it. No matter where I go those people will always be there. I'm ashamed of myself; I ask myself everyday why I did that stupid thing when everything was going fine in my life. I recked everything in my life. I'm a burden on my parents. I don't know what is going to happen to me or where I'm going. I just wish I could see my future.
  2. Secret wounds

    Secret wounds Well-Known Member

    What 'stupid' thing did you do?
  3. wanttodie

    wanttodie Well-Known Member

    can't explain..some thing to do with my sexuality..i embarrassed myself and now im paying..i think i will pay for my whole life..but the pain of being scorned and rejected by other people is destroying my brain..cant take it.
  4. Perishable

    Perishable Well-Known Member

    It sucks when it has nothing to do with you, when it is just the way others see you. Why dont you move? Get away? Start over new?
  5. wanttodie

    wanttodie Well-Known Member

    yeah thats what im doing but unfortunately these people seem to be everywhere..what should i do..my social life is zero..im confined in my house and cant even go out..i just wish for a miracle and that some one give me some kind of political asylum in an obscure country!
  6. Trip the Dark fantastic

    Trip the Dark fantastic Well-Known Member

    Any traumatic incident associated with ones sexuality need to be taken seriously because after a traumatic experience you may re-experience the trauma mentally and physically. This process can sometimes be very painful and a reaction might be, you avoiding reminders of the trauma. Whatever it was you feel now ashamed of, in all likelihood it wont go away by itself.

    I'm aware, it is absolutely not easy to talk about sex in general and an upsetting incidences linked to sexuality in particular, but have you talked it over with friends you can trust? Have you consulted national helplines? As basic as it sounds, but at times a light gap needs to turn into a light cone to see the next step ahead. Anonymously talking to a non-judgemental ear may just do that.

    A few sites:


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