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my personal relapse(rant)

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Earn, Jan 27, 2007.

  1. Earn

    Earn Well-Known Member

    today was going good.i got my check.i got pizza.then a song comes on our old song.and now my night is runined.i cant hear that song anymore.i cant.i was doing good.havent drank havent burned my self nothing like that 4 over a week.just cause 1 song.i have no idea what i would do if i saw here or talked to her.i shake my head to try to think bout sumthing else but its dosnt work.i cant go anywhere my car might break down.today sucked.i have no idea how haard the 7th is going to be next month.i cant be alone that day.i cant be alone right now.what do i do to get this pain out of my chest.how do i get my life together.1 day at a time aaron.i tell myself.but i cant drink everyday.i dont want to.time will tell if i get thro this.

    god why why did she leave why did this happen to me.i did nothing wrong.i was my best.y wont she come back.what can i do.what is there to do.i want to be around to see if she comes back.but i cant go through with this pain.all her promises for nothing.i love you tabby.please come back.please.please.ill do anything anything at all.i just want 1 kiss.1 hug.1 word.love.
  2. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    hi hun, i´m sorry for what are you feeling, i just wanted to ask you if you told her about how you feel, have you told her all of these you just wrote?
    you can drink everyday butyou won´t enjoy it hun, and then it will make you feel worse, just like self harm, you will feel addicted to it and you will feel eve downer than now
    pm me if you need to talk and take care
  3. Earn

    Earn Well-Known Member

    ice told her.ive left voice mails.she knows.my drinking hasnt gone to the point of me needing it.not yet.

    well i had the worst dream last night.i drempt she called me and wanted me back.it was her voice too.now im up with like no sleep.crying.i have no idea what to do.i want this pain to end.i hurt from her i hurt from myself.theres no way i can go threw another day this way.i miss her.i need her.i need to be loved.god please kill me