My phone is useless now

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Roots, Jan 9, 2012.

  1. Roots

    Roots Well-Known Member

    I'm so fucking frustrated. I was making a difficult phone call and that shit was so frustrating I just raged and threw my phone and the door. It landed on the floor and now it's just fucked up. More importantly, I'm fucked up. I've cut myself, I've cried, I even considered overdosing, but I didn't, because I guess there's still a purpose. I've borderline disorder and I go to therapy. HOW IS IT EVEN FUCKING POSSIBLE TO 'THINK STRAIGHT' WITH THIS DISORDER? Can someone tell me? Please? I really don't want my relationships to suffer and end because of this. I just want to be young, happy and hopeful while I'm still young. I hate myself so much. I don't even think I deserve to have a good life. When my boyfriend is away - I just want to end it all. But when he's here, I'm also sad. :( It takes strength from every cell in my body to try to stay normal, AND THEN I FUCKING SNAP LIKE I DID AN HOUR AGO. It CAN NOT stay this way. PLEASE, IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING THAT MIGHT HELP ME, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TELL :(
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    So sorry you are struggling Roots.
    Do you take any meds for your BPD?

    Hope you feel calmer and can ease up the cutting. Therapy may help, but it is not a quick fix. How long have you been going?