My Poem Collection

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by FlashingFlickering, Sep 4, 2011.

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  1. FlashingFlickering

    FlashingFlickering Well-Known Member

    I feel like sharing, getting some criticism and tips maybe.
    I haven't written in a while, but I'll post what I have.

    Let me know what you think, and if I should keep writing!

    If it's not a problem, I'm going to be putting them in separate posts. I like organization.
     
  2. FlashingFlickering

    FlashingFlickering Well-Known Member

    Waiting

    Waiting

    I spend a lot of time waiting.
    Waiting for the voices to be silenced
    Waiting for these hallucinations to diminish
    Waiting for the painful urges to end my life that consume my thoughts to run like a cat sprayed with water

    Somehow, I know it might not happen
    And if not that, I know the odds are still lower than winning the lottery
    I am not sure why I try
    I mean, it might be as useless as asking a rabbit for fame
    But is it possible, in some far off land where everyone is a pony that eats rainbows and poops out butterflies, that it could happen?
    That there is some off-chance possibility of stopping the stuff which has slowly been taking over my life, like interest slowly but surely will gather in a bank account.

    I am not sure if waiting is useful
    But I like to pretend to have hope
    And so I will keep waiting.
     
  3. FlashingFlickering

    FlashingFlickering Well-Known Member

    Changes

    Changes

    Changes surround me
    Changes trap me
    Changes abolish me

    Changes of different degrees
    Changes of different nature
    Changes of different pain

    Changes with friends
    Changes with family
    Changes with me

    Each change leaves me wondering
    Each change leaves me crying
    Each change leaves me despairing

    Changes are unnecessary
    Changes are devastating
    Changes are reckless

    Changes to the life of me
    Changes to the life of him
    Changes to the life of all

    Changes sorrowing us
    Changes damaging us
    Changes killing us

    Each change leads to more anguish
    Each change leads to more abhorrence
    Each change leads to apathy
     
  4. FlashingFlickering

    FlashingFlickering Well-Known Member

    Double Trouble

    Double Trouble

    I am lost inside the wrath of my insomnia.
    The grip this eating disorder has on me is tightening.
    They are working together now.
    But what are they doing?
    They have formed an endless cycle with the combined madness.
    That, or one led to the other.
    Regardless...
    This shit is Double Trouble.

    Maybe it all started with the insomnia --
    at least, I think I had that before my eating disorder --
    and the exhaustion led to my lack of appetite.
    With the lack of appetite,
    I learned what hunger was like.
    Especially how addicting is was.
    Thus, came the eating disorder.

    But perhaps, the eating disorder came first.
    I mean, that is always possible too, right?
    With not eating came exhaustion.
    But so did being unable to sleep.
    I suppose that could have led to insomnia.


    Even more likely though, it’s a cycle.
    It does not matter which came first:
    The insomnia;
    Or the eating disorder.
    What does matter is that they stack up on each other.
    Using each other to target my weaknesses.
    Tearing me apart, bit by bit by bit.
    Until I am no more, and they have won control.

    Surely that day will come eventually.
    The day that my two friends that I have nicknamed “Double Trouble” when together take over.
    The day that I lose control to Double Trouble.
    Shall I gladly anticipate that day?
    Or shall I dread it?
     
  5. FlashingFlickering

    FlashingFlickering Well-Known Member

    Pleasant Surprise

    Pleasant Surprise

    My glory began at perhaps eleven at night;

    it was about six hours since I last ate.
    It grew
    and grew
    and grew
    through the night, all the way past four in the morning

    While it was unexpected, I loved it.
    I welcome it any day, it’s a perfect rarity.
    They started out of nowhere -- perfect.

    They were hunger pangs, returning to me with pain.
    These joyful friends have left me for all too long.
    But now they were back, stronger than ever -- perfect.

    The shooting pains filled themselves with freedom;
    A sensation of release and control.
    All of which had no boundaries -- perfect.

    These old friends had been on a vacation, I presume.
    Or maybe they were forbidden from seeing me for a while.
    Either way, they were here now -- perfect.
     
  6. FlashingFlickering

    FlashingFlickering Well-Known Member

    Angel

    Angel

    Most people have heard the
    Sarah McLachlan song,
    Angel.
    I’ve been listening to that song,
    analyzing it, and
    trying to learn it.
    But then I realized,
    I have my own angel
    (not heroin,
    like she is referring to).
    My angel is
    hunger and
    fasting.
    Let me explain.


    “Spend all your time waiting For that second chance For a break that would make it okay”
    Constant waiting
    Constant restricting
    Until it’s time
    to finally fast again
    and feel okay.

    “There's always some reason To feel not good enough And it's hard at the end of the day”
    Despite all I do,
    something still
    always brings me
    down,
    making life
    harder and
    harder.

    “I need some distraction Oh beautiful release Memories seep from my veins”
    I have to be distracted
    from the temptations of food.
    But once I am
    it’s a beautiful feeling,
    filled with flashbacks.

    “Let me be empty Oh and weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight”
    An empty stomach,
    one without food.
    A smaller body,
    with much less weight.
    A more content,
    and peaceful me,
    sleeping without
    being weighed down
    by food.

    “In the arms of the angel Fly away from here From this dark cold hotel room And the endlessness that you fear”
    The overwhelming sensations
    of hunger
    bring me into
    another world
    with glory.
    The pangs revoke
    all fear of
    getting nowhere.

    “You are pulled from the wreckage Of your silent reverie You're in the arms of the angel May you find some comfort here
    Fasting demolishes
    the damage caused
    by eating.
    The hunger
    is comforting,
    knowing that
    tomorrow I’ll
    wake up a bit
    thinner.


    Where would I be,
    without my angel?
    I need the hunger,
    the fasting days,
    to keep me
    small,
    free,
    and alive.

    If only I could
    be the angel,
    and live in an
    eternal state of
    hunger,
    endless fasting,
    and peace that lasts
    forever.
     
  7. FlashingFlickering

    FlashingFlickering Well-Known Member

    Files

    Files

    In my little kit
    I have everything filed away
    Everything has its own spot
    It’s perfect

    On one side...
    I have my roll of gauze.
    This roll of gauze
    It’s over 2 yards long;
    Surely will hold anything in place
    As well as soaking up the gold

    In the middle...
    I have 13 sterile pads
    The foundation of pressure
    They soak up the initial gold

    But next to the sterile pads
    Still in the middle
    Is a convenient little tube.
    Just simple first aid ointment
    And a pain reliever as well.
    But I don’t want the pain to go away
    So I don’t use it often

    And finally
    On the other side
    There is a small packet:
    Sanitary wipes
    That’s all.
    There is also a small cotton ball
    But, next to that is
    The most precious of all
    Is a roll of medical tape
    But not just any tape.

    At the end of the tape
    There are 2 silver blades.
    These are the blades that get me through
    Everything I need to get through.
    And these blades,
    Are better than any other tangible item
    That I could ever get.
     
  8. FlashingFlickering

    FlashingFlickering Well-Known Member

    Good Enough

    Good Enough

    When.

    When?
    When,
    will I ever be good enough?


    Good enough for myself.
    Good enough for my dad.
    Good enough for my friends.
    Good enough for my family.

    Probably never.
    Definitely never for myself.

    Weight is too much
    Waist is too big
    Hips are too big
    Arms are too big
    Wrists are too big
    Legs are too big
    Thighs are too big
    Self hatred is too high


    I want to be
    perfect
    I want to be
    thin
    I want to be
    beautiful
    I want to be
    loved
    I want to be
    respected
    I want to be
    alright.

    But of course,
    that will never happen.
    Because I’m just not good enough
    and I never will be.
     
  9. FlashingFlickering

    FlashingFlickering Well-Known Member

    Air

    Air

    In school
    we were all taught
    the best way
    to ask questions --
    The 5 W’s
    Who;
    What;
    When;
    Where;
    Why.
    I like to use the 5 W’s.


    Who says I need air?
    What do you mean,
    It’s impossible to kill oneself by holding their breathe?
    When will I finally stop taking in air?
    Where can I no longer breathe?
    Why must I continue to breathe?


    Apparently,
    air is something we need
    in order to survive.

    But,
    what about us people
    who would rather not
    survive?

    Us people
    who wish we could
    be without air?

    What are we
    supposed to do?

    Continue breathing,
    hating every breath,
    praying to never
    take another one,
    but all the while,
    pretending to be okay with it?

    It sure seems
    that’s all I
    have been doing,
    and is all
    I’m expected
    to do, because of
    some stupid thing
    that they like to call
    “normal”.

    Well, I say that
    normal is overrated
    and I want nothing
    to do with it.

    So please,
    just let me be
    without air,
    without life,
    without this pain.
     
  10. FlashingFlickering

    FlashingFlickering Well-Known Member

    Abyss

    Abyss

    Abyss:
    noun
    deep, immeasurable space, gulf, or cavity; vast charm;
    anything profound, unfathomable, or infinite

    Does this mean that I am an abyss?

    The pain I feel is...
    never-ending;
    near impossible to describe;
    even harder to understand.

    However...
    I don’t want to be an abyss
    I want to be heard;
    understood;
    and real
     
  11. FlashingFlickering

    FlashingFlickering Well-Known Member

    The Lion and The Ant

    The Lion and The Ant

    The lion roars at night,
    the lion roars at threat.
    The lion sleeps when confronted,
    the lion sleeps when needed.

    The lion looks fierce,
    the lion looks strong.
    The lion is weak,
    the lion is empty.

    The ant crawls out of grasp,
    the ant crawls into danger.
    The ant fights bliss,
    the ant fights magic.

    The ant looks weak,
    the ant looks defeated.
    The ant is fierce,
    the ant is all.
     
  12. FlashingFlickering

    FlashingFlickering Well-Known Member

    Behind That Moon

    Behind That Moon

    Every night he sees that moon.
    Every night he dreams of being on that moon.

    That moon is perfect, bright,
    firm and tight.
    That moon gives off so much light,
    it never leaves his sight.

    Behind that moon he cannot predict,
    behind that moon he cannot wait.

    He takes one big leap, then lands on the moon.
    He tries to crawl behind it,
    he tries not to fall under it.


    Soon he will get over it.
    Soon he will see behind that moon.

    But not today.
     
  13. FlashingFlickering

    FlashingFlickering Well-Known Member

    The Artist

    The Artist

    I hope you are ready for my riddle
    Please just try, even a little


    I am an artist
    But I’m not like most artists you know
    But perhaps I have something to show


    My canvas;
    It’s not a piece of paper
    It’s not a wall either
    It’s forever permanent
    It’s forever engraved within
    My brush;
    I don’t put paint on it
    I don’t put water on it either
    I swipe it across my canvas one way
    I swipe it across my canvas many times


    Did you figure it out yet?
    Perhaps you will;
    Let’s make a bet...


    Without the brush
    The canvas cannot be
    Without the artist
    The design cannot be
    I am the artist
    I hold the brush
    I need the brush
    The canvas is never far from me
    It is reused
    It is scarce

    Everyday and every night
    I crave to create some of my art
    Everyday and every night
    I must hide my art
    If someone was to see my art
    I’d be labeled “crazy”
    I’d be labeled “emo”


    I think that is all now
    What more do you need to know?

    I hope you know now
    That I am an artist
    Just not like most artists you know.
     
  14. pancake111

    pancake111 Well-Known Member

    really like the way you write. It's like you're talking to someone,or they're taken right out of your diary. They have a definite voice that most poems don't have!

    My favorites are Angel and The Artist. I love how in the Angel, you use a quote from the song at the beginning of the stanzas. It really makes the connection between the song and your poem.

    And in The Artist, I love how you show cutting in a completely different light. I've never thought of it that way (but I'm not saying that SH is a good thing).

    You should definetly keep writing. I've never read anything like this, and I really want to read more of your stuff!!
     
  15. FlashingFlickering

    FlashingFlickering Well-Known Member

    Blank Page

    Blank Page

    The blank, lined page
    Wordless and empty
    It is most writers nightmare
    But not mine
    Does that make me the exception?
    Or the oddity?

    Most look at the blank page
    and weep,
    thinking they will never be able to fill it
    I look at the blank page
    and smile,
    glad to be presented with my next challenge.

    Why weep?
    The blank page is like glory.
    It leaves us with full range
    To be as creative as we want
    Start wherever we want
    Without any restrictions.

    Most look at the blank page
    and weep,
    thinking they will never be able to fill it.
    I look at the blank page
    and smile,
    glad to be presented with my next challenge.
     
  16. FlashingFlickering

    FlashingFlickering Well-Known Member

    Challenges

    Challenges

    Everyone has their own challenges;
    if they say they don’t,
    we know immediately that lying is one of their challenges.
    Some people have trivial challenges
    while others have life-or-death challenges.
    Regardless, a challenge is a challenge.

    Why should one challenge be disregarded
    As more or less important than another?
    How do we now that someone who is grieving over a lost child
    Is not in just as much distress
    as the person who can’t find their car keys?
    We don’t.
    We do not know.
    So what right do we have to judge?
    None.
     
  17. FlashingFlickering

    FlashingFlickering Well-Known Member

    Noises

    Noises

    Dear the-noises-I-hear-at-night:
    I have one mere
    question for you.
    Why?
    Why do you haunt me so?
    Am I expected to actually be able to sleep
    while listening to you at the same time?

    I assure you,
    you are one of the most distracting
    and annoying
    things that have ever entered my mind.
    So I will have to request
    that please,
    you leave me alone!

    No, you’re not welcome here at night.
    Nor during the morning.
    And certainly not while
    I’m at school!
    Please,
    go bother someone else
    who does not have better
    things to be doing.

    By the way,
    please take the visual hallucinations with you
    on your way out.
    I hope to never meet you again.
    Sincerely, me.
     
  18. FlashingFlickering

    FlashingFlickering Well-Known Member

    Characters

    Characters

    Dear characters in my novels:
    Are you holding a
    grudge against me?
    Did I do
    something wrong?
    I love you all
    and I’m sorry if I did
    something wrong.

    Please tell me what is wrong.
    You already have
    invaded my novels
    with your own plans.
    Why not invade with
    what I want you to?!

    I think it is
    tragic
    devastation
    when you come at me
    violently
    full force
    to bring me
    extremely
    drastic
    plot twists in my novels.

    Now if you would not mind
    please leave my writing
    the way I want is to be.
    Sincerely, me.
     
  19. FlashingFlickering

    FlashingFlickering Well-Known Member

    Abstract

    Abstract

    Abstract--
    My thoughts.
    Your perception.
    My mind.
    Your opinion.
    Abstract.

    Perfect--
    My plans.
    Your personality.
    My finale.
    Your intention.
    Perfect.

    Failure--
    My attempts.
    Your concern.
    My doubt.
    Your rage.
    Failure.
     
  20. FlashingFlickering

    FlashingFlickering Well-Known Member

    Mirror

    Ahead of me I see
    Simply a mirror.
    It’s just a mirror.
    But a knot forms in my stomach,
    and my heart beats even faster.
    It’s just a mirror.

    I take one step
    My body is overwhelmed with reluctance.
    I take another step
    towards that dreaded mirror.
    It’s just a mirror.
    Instead, the fear takes control.
    I run away from the mirror
    vowing to never return.
    It’s just a mirror.
    It’s just a mirror.
     
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