I was raised Christian, but I never really believed in God. Recently, however, I've been thinking about it, and I thought,"there could be a God. And if I have a better relationship with him, I'll have a better life." So I started talking to God every now and then; praying for my brother's safety, praying for my mother's happiness, etc... One night, I was just ready to die. I didn't even care. I was totally at peace with the idea of not being part of this world. So, I wrote some parting words and left the note next to my bed. Then I asked, "God, please, if you do exist, let me die in my sleep tonight." I went to sleep and the next morning, I woke up. I was a little disappointed. It was then that I realized that one of two things was true: 1. There is no God 2. God is an asshole, to let someone suffer to the point that they want to die and then not even give them the gift of death. What kind of a twisted megalomaniac won't even let me die? The ONE time I'm selfish with God and he won't do me one goddamn favor. He's really not reliable for anything we ask for, is he?