I can't validate why I was born into this world. I had such a hard time dealing with the stressors in my life ie. mental illness. My chronic suicide attempts all failed and I'm forced to find a reason to keep living. Being partially bipolar and partially schizophrenic doesn't make it easier and I know my life is determined by my illness. I'm 44. Never married. No children. Not even fallen in love with anyone. I put up a wall when meeting guys so I look uninterested, I guess. People my age already had what I haven't and I don't see any reason to be around. I'm so sad that I'm missing so much in this world. I hate myself.