My rant for today.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Sycotic_Sarah, Oct 27, 2007.

  1. Of course, just because it is not done with capital letters, that does not mean I am not furious right now.

    At the moment, I have a few questions. Of course, not literal ones that I need answers for. Just to express myself.

    When life throws you down, and pours a million bricks onto you, how can you possibly stand up?
    When everyone you love, turns their back on you, what is the point?
    When you are hurting so deeply, like a knife stabbing and ripping you apart into pieces, why do you exist?
    When you recieve daily abuse from the women that produced you, what is the point in carrying on if your own flesh and blood doesn't even want you?
    When you feel so unsettled, that you shake and tremble, how can you possibly be calm and relax?

    I don't know the point in this thread. But at the moment, I feel so angry, so ... unsettled, I can't keep still. I feel like I'm snapping in and out of this ''reality'', it's like I'm not even really here... I just don't ... know...

    FUCKING HELL.

    I do not know anything anymore. My meaning, my existance, my thoughts, my feelings, I feel as if I'm slowly slipping from this reality, I feel like I'm losing my mind, slowly going insane, and I can feel this happening, my mind feels like it's exploding, my thoughts are rampaging, my feelings are slamming through me, my hands are trembling and I can't relax properley. I feel as if I'm going insane. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't concentrate, I can't talk, I can't do anything.

    I just want to disappear, fade away, at the moment, I'm a blob of anger, sadness, confusion, suicidalness, exhaustion nervewreck. I feel as if I'm going to go crazy any second.

    I feel like screaming. I feel like crying. I feel like leaning onto my brothers shoulder, him holding me tightly and tears flowing down my cheeks, but at the same time, I can see myself wanting to punch him, scream at him, kick him, hurt him somehow, I don't know why, I feel so violent, I feel so angry and confused, frustrated. I don't know what's going on... I want to stab someone. I want to stab them repeatedly, I want to stab, and stab, and kick, and punch, and hurt, and kill.

    I've had about 480mg of caffeine, usually I do go crazy on that much, I am very sensative to caffeine, but I've not felt like this before. Not so crazy...

    I really, really feel like losing it.

    :dry:
     
  2. emma-louise

    emma-louise Guest

    -hugs tight- i'm so sorry you feel this way honey, i can relate to alot of what you said and im always hre if you need me sweetie
     
  3. savetoniqht

    savetoniqht Well-Known Member

    :sad: :sad: I'm sorry hun, I know what you mean though, I feel like that a lot too. I'm not really sure what can be done.. I usually jsut feel like shit and wait for it to pass. :sad: I'm really sorry you feel like this though, it sucks. :hug: :hug: PM me anytime. xx <3 :hug: