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My recent suicide attempt...

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by #18, Jul 27, 2011.

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  1. #18

    #18 Well-Known Member

    I couldn't take the pain anymore...I've been slowly going off my medicine Lexapro as they believe it's not helping me. I tried to drown myself in my bath. I don't know if it's even possible really. My therepist told me the natural instinct for human survival is strong and would kick in if I had gone too far under. I felt pain and hopelessness and I wanted to get drunk beforehand but couldn't drink. This guy, I met on MySpace and have known for four years has been a love interest to me. Some people may think that's crazy, but I feel a connection to him. But he recently told me him and his ex had a long talk and that they realized they missed each other more than they thought. That's when I wanted to end my life. I felt I couldn't get him to even give me a chance after four years...it makes me feel something's wrong with me and then I didn't want to live no more. I don't know what to do or what to say. I haven't told my Mom, I don't want to bring her down...it would break her heart and her birthday is tomorrow. I have to keep it to myself, for now. I told the guy I spoke about, my sister, and my therepist. I feel really alone right now with no one to talk to or reach out to though...the days are long and very lonely for me anymore.
  2. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Hey Zachary,

    It's nice to meet you.

    I once was on Lexapro and weaned slowly off it. During the withdrawal period, I felt like a bitch from hell. I'd go off on people for no reason. I can't discuss on here your method, but I can say that I don't think the guy from MySpace is worth your time if he won't give you a chance after four years. Did he ever know that you were really interested in him? Why would he tell you that he and his ex are suddenly getting back together?

    Regardless, I'm glad that you are reaching out to people you know for help.

    All the best,
  3. Geminihopes

    Geminihopes Member

    Hi Zachary,

    I'm glad that you didn't succeed and are still here to share your experience. I am sorry though that you are feeling alone but I hope you continue to talk to your therapist, sister and that guy and of course talking on here.
  4. #18

    #18 Well-Known Member

    Hi Alex, it's nice to meet you too.

    Yeah, Lexapro's has been no good for me and now that I'm slowly going off of it I'm a mix of emotions. I just want to feel normal again, whatever that feels like.

    I know...he's been more and more distant lately too, it breaks my heart. I have a deep rooted fear that I'll never find anyone, and it's partly the reason I've hung on this long with him. Yes, he knows I'm interested and that I want to meet but he either doesn't have much to say about the subject or avoids it completely. He says he loves me though, so it confuses me and I don't know what to think anymore.

    I'm not sure why he decided to tell me, maybe so I'd get the hint to back off, I don't know.

    Thanks for reading,

    Thank you, I appreciate your kindness.
  5. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    You're welcome! Your thoughts are very organized, so it was easy to read what you wanted to say. :)

    My sister was dumped a few years ago by a boyfriend she had gone steady with, and before that happened he hinted to her that he wasn't that interested in her anymore when he started to routinely say he was "busy" when she asked whether he wanted to go hang out and spend time with her. They broke up a few weeks later. She was pretty devastated since she loved him and wasn't loved the same way back. She later deleted him off her Facebook friends list and hasn't talked to him since.

    Just throwing something out there, but maybe severing any contact with him is better for your health if he is not interested in you and is causing you more pain than happiness and hope.
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