My sad attempt at an attempt.

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by I'm_trying, Jul 23, 2011.

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  1. I'm_trying

    I'm_trying Active Member

    Around this time two years ago I semi-attempted suicide.

    Long story short my family was falling apart and I was done. I was pretty drunk before a certain incident happened that night. I went upstairs and after years and years of fighting suicidal thoughts I finally thought this would be it. xxxxx I woke up and puked my guts out for 12 hours straight, if I stood up or even put my head up I puked. I probably puked up some of my organs. I'm positive caused the crazy hallucinations (My mind actually believed spiders were setting up webs all over my room). They crawled all over my body and were under my bed. I could hear voices and thought my parents were outside my bedroom door planning to get rid of me. My vision was blurry and couldn't see anything clear no matter how close I looked at things. The worst were the tremors. My hands were moving without me even moving them at all. That became a little scary. I slept on and off for almost 2 days.

    No one ever found out of course. Me staying in my room for days on end is extremely common. All that proved to me is that I was close to the dosage that could have potentially killed me but not close enough. And that in a future endeavour I plan on using a more lethal means.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 26, 2011
  2. roscho

    roscho Well-Known Member

    Littlestoxie,

    I would be interested in hearing more about the troubles that plague you, if you would like to tell them. You can do it here in the forum, or you can PM me if you'd like it to be private.

    Sometimes other people can see possibilities and solutions that we can't see ourselves.
     
  3. jkeller4000

    jkeller4000 Well-Known Member

    you are lucky, to only get suicidal every couple years, if only i could have that luxary, unless i miss understand you,

    please make your long story short a little longer, was that your only attempt? were you excited about the hallucinations? though i got a huge fear of spiders, i think i would have been crying, oh i do not think i have ever shed more than a tear in my adult life, i have just recently begun to understand what people mean when they talk about crying,

    i am a big fan of bicycling! you should totally try to go on a bike ride every other day, tyr to get lost :) lol ok wait tell you understand what you feel like cycling,

    you will start off with lots of energy, when this energy leaves most new people turn around, this is just your body using most of the stored sugars in the muscles, then your body adjusts, and going a little slower one keeps cycling, now the next time you reach a low point, you will be thirsty, you will think only of jumping into every lake and drinking from every puddle, it so strange, you might even get so thirsty you jump off you bike and play in a waterfall for a while, but hopefully you brought enough water to quench your thirst, then after a while more you will get hungry, wow i got so hungry i started thinking about what people would taste like, i was sooo hungry, lol you will think your crazy, but hopefully you brought food also, and fill that hunger need, then you might get thirsty a few more times, and maybe have to fix a few flat tires, maybe take a few spills and come home bleeding, usually it stops before one gets home, but after each point you realize something about yourself, you realize how much the body wants you to stay alive, just try it, next time u get suicidal, try it go on a bike ride and see how far you can go, if you are riding at night be sure to have lights and a reflective vest and helemt, otherwise i will make sure you do not come home alive! i will know u went riding without the proper precautions and i will make sure you regret it! but it is suprising to see how much the body wants to stay alive, it will thrive even if you want it to die, it will build muscles and get stronger every time you try to stop it,

    lol silly me i need to realize some people will never try bike riding, they will never stick with it enogu hto get to the point where they enjoy the feelings they get from riding, it is so amazing, i have yet to have a terrible ride, ok there were a few bad ones, but after a while u get used to the homicidal cars on the road,
     
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