my scars could tell the story...

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by riz, Oct 16, 2006.

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  1. riz

    riz Senior Member

    I just joined this forum today.
    I thought that it was time for me to talk.
    It's harder than I ever thought it would be.

    I cut. I bruise myself. I rip out my own hair. I pinch myself when in stressful situations.

    In the heat of it all, suicide became an option.

    I've taken pills to go numb. I've cut so deep, I never thought the blood would stop.

    I've gotten so addicted, I couldn't see myself without the self-destruction.
    -It defines me.
    -It grounds me.
    -It keeps me in my place.

    I need help.
    Please, someone help me.

    Someone who understands.
     
  2. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I am sorry you are feeling bad enough to join this forum, but it's great to know you are willing to reach out. I am proud of you hun, because it can be very hard to do.


    I read your profile and I beleive it said you were around 15, when I was that age I thought there was nothing but the ways I knew, because it was all I knew and I didn't like change...and the thought of therapy and anti depressants just scared me and I had distorted and hopeless thoughts about how there is no way to get better and feel better. But once I found the right therapist, opened up, got on a better combonation of meds and tried to correct my thinking with possitive thinking. My life and depression changed draumatically.



    Have you ever talked to a school councelor or tried therapy...?



    Another thing is I have read and been educated by my DBT therapist on other coping skills that have worked for others, it varies on people, but... here it goes.....journaling, sqweeze an ice cube, splash cold water on your face, get a bucket of ice cubes and go out side imagine the source of pain or a person whom you hate or has hurt you and throw over and over as hard as you can.....mark where you want to cut get a note book and just slash it over and over, when you feel the need to cut get on this forum and rant/vent say everything you are feeling and the thoughts and every bad thing going through your mind...just let it out.




    And please remember that you can always come here and talk with others who have experienced the samething and that understand. You can be "you" here. Please remember that.


    I am going to give you my MSN you don't have to use it but if you want to talk I will always be here for you, okay sweetie?


    My MSN: painNsiolence@hotmail.com and my Yahoo: tha_cross_woman@yahoo.com


    Take Care and remember you aren't alone. :hug:

    :handinhan

    :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:


    ~Carolyn
     
  3. scared_child

    scared_child Account Closed

    I'm 14, and i do alot of the same things and at times I feel like it seems your feeling, actually, all the time. So, I'm glad that you got up the courage to come on to this site and talk about it, just like I did. I'm always here if you want to talk.
     
  4. allofme

    allofme Staff Alumni

    hi and welcome...

    ....and the self harm also makes your out side look like you feel on the inside... that is a big one for me..

    i need my out side to connect / merge with the pain i am feeling on the inside

    sometimes i self harm cus i need to feel the pain i am numbing...

    sometimes i self harm cus i need to numb the pain i am feeling...

    sometimes i just need to see the muffeled screams that no one hears...

    i under stand and am here if you want to talk to someone who has been there ... who has left it behind and now has relapesed...

    hugs .. hopes.. and tomorrow
     
  5. Spikey

    Spikey Senior Member

    am here for u hunny xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  6. riz

    riz Senior Member

    "sometimes i self harm cus i need to feel the pain i am numbing...

    sometimes i self harm cus i need to numb the pain i am feeling...

    sometimes i just need to see the muffeled screams that no one hears..."


    I feel this too. Like a giant contradiction. I feel pain so I can stop feeling pain.

    I am glad I came here. It wasn't looking so good...
     
  7. allofme

    allofme Staff Alumni

    hugs....

    i too am glad you found us
    please PM me any time... understanding is half of the battle... hugs
     
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