My Scars

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by *dilligaf*, Apr 23, 2007.

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  1. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    okay bear with me here. I'm not really sure if I am going to make this a rant, an achievement....or a bit of both :laugh:

    1) My mum came into my room today while I was getting changed. She knows I cut but hasn't seen my arms since..hmm, before Christmas. The last time she saw them (was the first time) I went mad, started screaming at her to get out of my room and was crying. :blink: Today I just sat there and talked to her normally. I'm really annoyed at her for trying to make me talk about it. And for pointing them out, but at the same time I'm kinda proud of myself for not flipping like last time.

    2) I ALWAYS keep my arms covered. I live with my Nan and even she never sees them. The ONLY person I ever really showed was my boyfriend. The weather the last few weeks has been really good and we have been in the park quite a bit. The last time I managed to lie in a bit where there wasn't really anyone else around, with my arms showing.
    Then we were out walking one day and I managed to show them again. There was just us and a few cars though.
    I have just come home after a pub dinner. It was really hot in there and I plucked up the courage to take my cardigan off. I sat in a pub with people in with my arms showing. I even (JUST) managed to go to the bar with them showing :eek:hmy:

    Don't get me wrong, I'm not proud of them, and I don't like them or anything. I seriously hate myself for them. And every single one is a personal reminder to me of my failings. However, I'm sick of being so paranoid and self-conscious about them. Sick of having to cover them up. So yeah, I'm kinda proud of myself :unsure:

    Guess it turned into an achievement thread eh lol.

    Thanks Grant for making me do that :) :hug:
     
  2. reborn1961

    reborn1961 Guest

    I think I understand your success in showing your scars. Many of us too often hide our pain from the world. You decided that you were not afraid, not embarrassed and that the scars are a part of you so no need to hide. I actually see that as a positive step forward for you. Perhaps the time will come where you enjoy short sleves and you reduce or stop cutting. Anything is possible. I am glad you feel good. Take care.
     
  3. i think its an amazing achievement to be able to show them hun, and all i have to say is so so well done sweetie :) x
     
  4. no point

    no point Well-Known Member

    I don't think I will ever be able to show my scars. I'm too embarrassed. One time my mom saw the pocket knife in my room and my scars, she tried to talk to me about it and I just flipped and denied everything. I think what you did takes a lot of courage.
     
  5. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    thank u all :)
     
  6. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    am REALLY proud of you hunni :hug: :cheekkiss
     
  7. becky82

    becky82 Well-Known Member

    Well done!! Thats a fantastic thing to be able to do, you should be proud of yourself.
     
  8. firelizardee

    firelizardee Active Member

    I guess that a lot of people may not even notice the scars but we think they do.

    I've lots of scars as well and I sometimes go out wearing short sleeves but I havne't done so at work but the day will come.

    Well done you for what you did. Its like taking a big first step.
     
  9. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    thanks both :)

    :hug: :hug:
     
  10. jjustme

    jjustme Guest

    Woow well done:smile: I always flip when my mom tries to talk about it...
    :hug:
     
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