My scenario..wanna talk lets talk..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by beenrunning, Jul 26, 2007.

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  1. beenrunning

    beenrunning Guest

    well i stumbled across this forum after a long night of already dreaded research.
    dont knowif it counts for anything but my suicidal feelings have been quite towering lately.
    I wish not approach the situation like some young kid who hasnt tried to explore situations.
    For what its worth i just feel like..writting out hoping it will give me something,if anyone wishes to interact please you are more than welcome.

    So as for 23 years old,and current unemployed I was working a good job till it slowed down. So i am stuck in my regular debt,cant afford to pay my car,phone and other small things.
    Im currently under bankruptcy and have to scrounge up 500$ in a few months for court.
    I had a company with my father when I was 18 and at 21 after mistakes it feel,so i lost the company,broke the relationship with my father,couldnt find work,had a job to sve and now i am stuck.
    no credit,no financial backing,cant find a job,its prtty horrendous.
    My father is hard of hearing so we have lack of communication,he cheated on my mother and recently had a child with another lady making my mother very sick and things awkward at home. Both of my parents are under bankruptcy so we are pretty much short of losing the house.
    My mother was recently diagnosed with breast cancer so i try to be there for her as much as i can but of course im a mess. My relationship with a girl for 3 years crumbled after she just wanted a break,so i feel there i lost my best friend.
    i dont have any friends,the ones i had during my company were fake,but i dont even got those,i got no one to talk to, its like i feel at once i had everything,it was great,and slowly it crumbled and is dwindling.

    Although it may not seem like much to some its just with so many small problems combingin together,it becomes very frusturating and sometimes i feel like giving up.
    every day that passes it seems small things get

    worse,recently my good friend died in a motorcycle accident,so its like everything is bad.bad.bad.bad.worse i feel like just giving up sometimes,i dont know why im here,
    some nights i wish i could fall asleep and never wake up
    is that wrong? i am the owner of a pistol,i have my concealing permit,so i try to restrain my self,but i am honestly afraid one day ima be so rowdy cause of so many problems i will do my self in. i dont know,its pretty scary.

    dont know what to do..nobody knwos this,nobody that knows me,i keep a sharp image and everyone thinks things are good..too bad its far from it..

  2. I too have a good front put up, though things are far from good right now for me. Plenty of people will soon post after me saying what they think they should say to try & make you feel better. Things like "PM me" if you'd like to talk to someone with out everyone else reading it. What can I say? I hope things get better for you, I really believe that I should be the only one to suffer. If I could, I'd wish all of the worlds' problems away. I've been suffering my entire life(it seems) and don't like it when others do.
  3. beenrunning

    beenrunning Guest

    i mean realistically i cant expect a magical answer.
    its just being i really havent had anyone to talk to,or nobody knows its..well..tis a bit of a relief putting this out there,even if no one will ever know who i am
  4. jhayes0027

    jhayes0027 Well-Known Member

    Well I'd always be willing to talk to anyone, though I can't always promise how much use I can be. I can say one thing though. With so many problems you should try not to think of them all at once. Write them down or type them out in notepad or something. Start with top priority (to you) and work your way down a list. Try to check each one off one at a time and maybe it will be a little less stressful anyway.

    I know how it feels when everything hits you all at once. I'm in debt with student loans, bills, etc... and feel like I am working for absolutely nothing in life. I have plenty of free time and money it seems, I just can't manage or save it. So you aren't alone in the debt department.

    I do hope you can work everything out though. Like "the me that you know" said. I don't like to see others suffer in anyway. I've begged God plenty of times to give me all of my families, friends, and mother's problems so they wouldn't have to worry. It just doesn't work that way. I don't even care for God though so I don't know why I ask.
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