My second attemt WILL work. I'll be dead soon :)

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flowers

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#21
If I remove all traces of my exsistence from my room and the house, it'll be easier on them. No shity photos to remind them of their failure fucked up duaghter. It takest ime to remove all traces of me but in the end it'll be easier for them. They wont remember me as much. I dont want to be remembered at all. Hell I don't even want a grave. I want to be cremated and thrown away into the rain. No memories, easier healing time
sweetie, you cannot make it easier on a parent. There is no such thing. I know you think they will not suffer much. But that is very untrue. It is a life sentence of suffering when you lose a child. and even more when it is to suicide. Its a life sentence. Ask any parent who has had a child die. :hug: It is a devistation that keeps giving. Until the parent dies too. Or the brother or sister. One never recovers from such a loss.

What if this was a period of time that you were supposed to live through so you could know the horror of feeling like this. So you could then help kids when you grow up. Become a person who can help kids who need help. Because you knew first hand what it felt like to be so bullied and abused? The best people to help kids who are being hurt, are adults who were there themselves. maybe this hell you are going through is to prepare you to help other people who have decided they are worthless etc. And believe me, there are millions and millions in that club. Amazing kids who have been convinced of lies. When you graduate from school study to become someone who can help kids. Who better can help kids who are being bullied and abused and want to die? Someone who knows what it felt like. The world does need for you to stay here.
 

Much afraid

Well-Known Member
#22
If I remove all traces of my exsistence from my room and the house, it'll be easier on them. No shity photos to remind them of their failure fucked up duaghter. It takest ime to remove all traces of me but in the end it'll be easier for them. They wont remember me as much. I dont want to be remembered at all. Hell I don't even want a grave. I want to be cremated and thrown away into the rain. No memories, easier healing time
Dear dear J_Doe17, I understand the belief that if I remove all traces, if I'm invisible, those who love me won't be prompted to think of me, grieve my loss. I get the thought but it's a lie our mind feeds us. You see we can't erase the memories. We, memories of us, are seared into the minds of those who truly love us.

Have you lost anyone you've loved dearly? I'm hoping you have not but if you have do you never have memories of shared experiences? If you've not, imagine one person that really means so much to you you can't imagine life without them. What would you feel if they were taken from your life never to be seen, touched, hugged again...do you think you would forget or would they be in your thoughts often?

I can tell you that losing a loved one and having no service at their death, having no burial to honor their life and provide a final resting place for their remains only adds to the grief, the overwhelming sense of loss and despair. I've experienced loss all my life. I've never forgotten one individual, I've not forgotten how much they meant to me and a day has never passed that I didn't wish each was still here.

Your family, your friends, the one who brought you through that first attempt will never forget you. Their pain will never go away. They will learn to breathe, however shallowly, and to hide their sadness and depression, but you will be in their thoughts and they will wonder (torture themselves over) what they didn't do or what they could have done or should have done to prove their love to you...

You have to make the decisions. It's up to you to find a reason to stay but know that you cannot remove you from anyone's life you've touched and that touch, however brief, had an impact that will mean that person will be sad, will miss and will grieve the loss of you.
♥ ♥ ♥
:hug:
 
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