Allright, I'll give this a try. Here's my story. I lost my job as a railroad engineer in August. My boss was a "born again Christian" with wife and kids. We ran into each other on a gay social network, and he immediately erased his account. After that, he began to try his hardest to get me fired for any technical reason he could...things that NO ONE had ever been fired for. On August 24, 2014, he was successful, and I have had no luck gaining employment since. I have contemplated suicide for many many years. I have had an inability to feel joy my whole life. It occured to me that my effort to remain viable on this earth FAR outweighed the rewards. I've worked hard to have a nice job that I was good at, a nice home, and an income that afforded me the things I wanted in life. After losing my job, I have slowly been losing all my money saved...running up my credit cards...holding off bill collectors, and planning to just live as long as I could till I ran out of money, then <mod edit - methods>. So here I sit. My bank account if overdrawn. I'm a month late on my mortgage All my bills are past due, and my phone constantly rings from bill collectors. My internet access will end on the fifteenth. My electricity will be turned off Feb. 2. My phone will be turned off before the end of the month. I have two dollars to my name, everyone who could have helped me with money has already done so in the 5 months I have been unemployed. And THEN!! It's actually kinda funny at this point, a hard freeze busted a pipe behind my house, and I have no way to fix it except to turn the water off at the street about 150 yards away. The spewing water has created a glacier all over the back f my house. It's actually a beautiful site! So here I sit. <mod edit - methods>. I believe absolutely I am out of options.