My Sister makes fun of my rape and it makes me want to end it now.

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by A_pixie, Jun 28, 2010.

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  1. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    I need to get his off my chest it's messing my head up. I need replies as well so I know somebody in this world knows what's going on behind these fucked up doors.

    I was raped 2 years ago, and only just got it through my head what happened. My sister, out of nowhere, stopped speaking to me and my father around 7 years ago. We're not a bad family, few tempers, but not violent or abusive. Apart from her.

    She does EVERYTHING she can to get my parents to throw me out. She tells my Mum that I am "not allowed to make eye contact with her" and can't use the toilet after ten. I have been reduced to pissing in cups in my bedroom.

    I need a home to recover in to get over my rape and I have told her this. It's like talking to a brick wall. She makes fun of me for crying myself to sleep at night and when my mother screamed at her "SHE CRIES BECAUSE SHE WAS RAPED DON'T YOU FUCKING GET IT?!" the sneer didn't vanish from my sister's face. She kept smiling blankly and sneeringly as I stood there falling apart crying my eyes out. She fucking laughed at me.

    She is glad it happened to me. On the day my Mum told her all she had to say was "it's not possible it happened to me when I've been asleep by myself in the house right? That's alright then." Not a fucking LICK of sympathy.

    She constantly slams me for going back to college as I left for a few years, calls me thee "fat school dropout" even though I am far from fat. She says this knowing I am bulimic and hopes to set me off again. But that isn't as bad as her calling me a "*****" after what happened to me. I slept around after the rape to normalise it you see, and it kills me everyday that I let men use me. She calls me the ***** at every opportunity and I have dreams where I am murdering her or killing myself. Mostly killing myself as at this rate, she will drive me to it.

    What is wrong with her....why does she make fun of me being raped? She says she hopes I kill the rate she is going she'll get her wish.

    HELP ME :'(
  2. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    I cannot understand what on earth is going through your sisters head but I do want to ask one question (feel free not to answer, as I don't know whether I am probing too much or not), was it someone that knew both you and your sister who raped you?

    Maybe your sister is angry because of this or pissed off in some way.

    Is she younger/older?

    I'm not patronising younger people but sometimes I find I cannot talk to younger people on the same level as I can adults.

    Still, in saying that have you ever sat down with her and calmly said "I just want to talk to you about this, I want to understand why you are being this way?".
  3. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    No, she didn't know him at all, he was a friend of mine who she never met properly as, to be honest, she is a total recluse. She doesn't have friends, as she cannot control them at all - these girls came over our house once and wouldn't come back as she kept making them ask permission to sit on her bed, go to the toilet, use her pens etc.

    My parents don't have a backbone between them when it comes to her (yet I get a LOT of flack from them, I'm not allowed to be depressed and they get extra mad when I get depressed about the situation as I am the "funny one" of the family - the fucking court jester who pulls them all together in times of crisis) so they let her treat people like this. As a result she has no-one.

    It's not like she's a kid either, she's 18, but doesn't act it- still stamps and screams to get my Mum's attention.

    My Mum said to her once "aren't you even sorry she got raped?!" and my sister just stared blankly through her as if she had said nothing. She then made fun of me for getting upset making fun of my self harming scars.

    She's always going on about me being fat, ugly, stupid etc, when she is to be frank, ALL of these things. She isn't far off 22 stone now, never had a boyfriend, never had a FRIEND for that matter and is failing her schoolwork. My Mum tries to put it down to her being jealous of me but MY GOD making fun of somebody's RAPE out of JEALOUSY?? It's gotta be more than that surely!!!

    The moment she found out I was germaphobic she had my Mum wash everything I touch in the house (walls, doors, etc) and has to have seperate cutlery from me, has to have her clothes washed separetly....I am so used to the abuse that I actually had a civilized conversation with my mother as she scrubbed away at a door I had once touched!

    Which doesn't help my feelings of being dirty after the attack.

    I just don't know what the Hell to do I keep looking at my wrists and imagining them popping as I don't want it to be my fault I died :'(
  4. greyroses

    greyroses Well-Known Member

    This may sound odd, but what I would suggest is jealousy. Its twisted but possible. It also may have to do with her way of coping. It sounds like her life is not where she wants it. She could be upset that your life (which sounded more socially open) is now breaking down and that is a threat or something to validating her own. Or she may just see an ooportunity to use anothers pain to feel better about herself.
    Honestly though, I dont think her reasons matter. They are hurtful to you. You are right about needing a place where you can recover and perhaps you should sit down with your parents and discuss some rules that the whole house can abide by to create that space for you. Or you can discuss finding you alternate housing. If you dont think you could facilitate that, you might bring in a professional to explain both sides etc.
    I am very sorry to hear about your experience.
  5. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    My heart goes out to you. Please keep in mind that your sister is still in the child mind frame. She is only 18. Even though her words are cruel, and he attitude is mean. Know that she must be suffering as well. As you say she has no friends, and I feel she is jealous of you. I know it may be hard to believe, but I am convinced of this by her conduct. The rape was never your fault. You are not a blankety blank either. You are a human being that has feelings, and a soul. In my eyes you are a strong woman who has survived a very traumatic experience, and although you feel you handled it badly, you handled it, and continue to handle it as any normal human being would. I applaud you for sharing your story, that took lots of guts. I will keep you in my prayers. Blessings..
  6. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    I'm sorry to say, but this makes it sound like extreme jealousy to me. Like theses thing happened to you, which makes you "special" in your parents eyes, even if they give you flack and say nothing to your sister, you had these issues to deal with that sets you apart from her. and you even said it yourself, she doesnt have friends, never had a bf, therefore never had sexual contact.. and in a sick and twisted way, she sees it as you having had more than her..
    something that this sortof reminds me of, is the fact that in secondary school i went to, all but 2girls told me they were raped at some point, and some of them even seemed to brag about it, made me sick to my stomach.

    some people in this world are just really messed up in the head.

    Dont do anything to yourself, we are here for you :arms:
  7. bluegrey

    bluegrey Antiquities Friend

    It sounds to me your sister has very serious unaddressed issues that are making her frustrated so she is relieving her frustration by bullying you. She sees you as weakened by your terrible experience and bullies target the vulnerable and easily hurt to get the satisfaction of a reaction.

    I grew up under tremendous abuse along with my brother. He and I were always under so much tension we had frequent brutal fistfights and at times really believed we didn't care about and even hated each other. I believe your sister does love you but until her psychiatric issues are treated she will continue to lash out with inexplicable cruelty and seemingly without remorse.

    I hope you can afford to share an apartment with a friend or two or you have a relative that can take you in. Your home environment is toxic and is worsening your condition. Please don't hurt yourself. :console:
  8. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    This made me unbelievably just everything. I'm sorry that you have to live with such people!

    I'm fairly certain your sister is a sociopath. She's incapable of empathy, and trying to make her think over her horrible actions will not work. I suggest that when you can, you cut all ties from her. She's a horrible 'person' and poison.

    Maybe you can look up rape shelters near your area? I'm not sure how they work exactly, but do they take in victims of abuse? I wish there was something I could actually do to help you, I really do...
  9. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Your sister sounds like a Sociopath. She lacks any empathy for you and takes joy in your pain and suffering. You need supportive people in your life to help you get through the pain of being raped. :hug:
  10. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    As I said in the suicide forum...

    You NEED to get her out of your life, and away from your parents
  11. TBear

    TBear Antiquities Friend

    Please remove yourself from this abusive environment if at all possible.

    And even if it seems impossible - look for a way. Is there a counselor or neutral person you can go to?

    You do need somewhere to go to heal. You cannot heal from a horrifically abusive incident while suffering further abuse.

    As for your sister - it is amazing that you care for why she is doing this. That tells more about the wonderful person you are. At this point, it doesn't matter why - you need to take care of you. Keep saying to yourself that you are not valued by what others say to you or about you; or by what others have done to you.

    Try to find a way out so that you can have the peace needed to heal from the rape. I am so sorry you are feeling this. You aren't dirty - the rapist is the filth. Your value is no different - if someone crumpled a $100 dollar bill up and threw it into a pile of garbage - it is still worth $100. (The person who treated it that way is the idiot)

    Take care of yourself. :hug:
  12. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    I agree with this:hugtackles:
  13. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    I've been in a similar situation.

    I think there might be more going on for your sister than she lets up re: not talking to your father for so long. She might have an ED, which might account for her weight, eating, being a recluse and saying you were fat. Believe it or not people who have EDs can be very vicious and abusive, depending on their personality.

    She sounds dissociated and traumatised, going by the 'blank look and sneer' you're describing - and she might be projecting on to you- and seeing your pain and injury as a weakness; not that excuses how she's behaving, or your pain- but she sounds like she needs a lot of help which isn't your responsibility. I would not be surprised if she has been severely abused, looking at her behaviour but she isn't processing it the way you are- she's externalising and bullying you- and you seem to know what you need which is safety away from her and time and space to work through your trauma.

    And I agree with the posters above about trying to get away from that environment.

    Look after yourself.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 2, 2010
  14. mcviking

    mcviking Well-Known Member

    God I would punch everyone in your house. But seriously get out of there anyway you can. Do you have any friends houses you can stay with? Dormitory? Your sister doesn't deserve the air she breathes if she treats you this way. Just don't speak to her. Don't give into her.
  15. Psychic24

    Psychic24 Member

    :sigh: Your sister seems to be...not your sister at should move on either ignore him Don't give a damn! or move away from her....Rape is one thing but mental torture like this is not okay.
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