My sister. My guardian angel.

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by Ferret, Jun 2, 2009.

  1. Ferret

    Ferret Well-Known Member

    In April my 37 year old sister died after an 8 month battle with an aggressive Leukemia. I should have known it was coming, but I had a lot of hope that she was going to make it. My Easter break was spent in the hospital, next to my sister's bed. My family had a lot of support from relatives and friends, but now that I'm back in school, my support has reached its limits. My friends don't want anything to do with this. And my best friends mom accused me of stalking when I tried to reach out to her for support. I guess people expect me to grieve while I'm in jail. I'm a kind and gentle person who just lost a sister. It's not like she was in her old age. I could understand that to life there is an end, but it was too soon for her. She was so strong. Her heart was always beating because she wanted to hold on. She wanted to stay with her husband and two daughters. I held her hand as her eyes filled with tears. And then she was gone. Out of my life forever. She was suffering so much, I wanted her to rest in peace. I regret ever thinking about me just wanting her to leave without suffering. We made sure she couldn't feel any pain, she didn't deserve the pain. This is a place where people come for help when they are depressed or contemplating suicide. I know, I've come here for help numerous times. But it makes me angry that people would just want to give up their life, while my sister fought so hard to keep hers. She didn't have any second chances. I love my sister with every living element of my body and of my life. I wish I could have traded places with her. But now my life has to go on. I'm struggling, because I don't want to go to my family for support. I'm supposed to be strong. But often, I think of her, and break into tears. She cared for me during a near fatal car accident, when I was immobilized in a neck brace that extended to my waist. She was my movement when I couldn't move. I miss her so much. I wish my friends could see that. Thanks for listening.
  2. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry for your loss :sad: pm me if you ever want to talk.
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I am so sorry about your sister...too often we find how much difficulty ppl have dealing with death and the grieving process...depending upon the age and the insight of your friends will depend their ability to do not have to be alone...grief counselors and alike are available to support you...speak to someone who will understand to see what services you can access...again my deepest condolences...J
  4. Little_me

    Little_me Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry :hug: PM me at any time if you want
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    :hug: des
  6. healing07

    healing07 Well-Known Member

    I am very sorry for your loss. She was really a fighter. I feel very bad for her daughters. lonelyd you just be there and take care of your sister daughters.
    (((Hugs and Love))):hug::hug: