I've always had memories of this, but never actually thought anything of it unti last year. I guess I always knew what happened but never wanted to think about it so I pretended like it was no big deal. I'm still not sure about my feelings on this, deep inside I know I don't want to talk about it. My stomach hurts just by writing this.
When I was little I was the baby of the family, I almost always had someone who would do anything for me. To help me shower my sister would take one with me, I only remember this happening once. I think I couldn't have been more than six, my sister around maybe 7th grade. I remember my sister laying in the tub telling me to bite on her nipples harder. I don't remember having any feeling of discomfort or scaredness. I trusted her and didn't think it was wrong.
That was when my sister was nice to me, then things went down for her. Skipped class, was always drunk, always on some type of drug, sneaking out and fighting with my parents. At that time she was horrible to me, anything I said or did she had something to yell back. I remember sometimes walking into our room to get something and her yelling "get the fuck out! Leave me alone! Get the fuck out already retard!" when I wouldn't have even looked at her. Now that she's done with that phase and a mom she's nicer. Not the nicest but I enjoy being around her. Now it's like we're any other pair of sisters, fighting sometimes but we have each others backs.
Pretty much I don't know what to do with my memory, should I be upset with her? Should I just drop it? Is that why she hated me for so long? I'm just not upset with her but for some reason I cringe whenever it comes to mind
When I was little I was the baby of the family, I almost always had someone who would do anything for me. To help me shower my sister would take one with me, I only remember this happening once. I think I couldn't have been more than six, my sister around maybe 7th grade. I remember my sister laying in the tub telling me to bite on her nipples harder. I don't remember having any feeling of discomfort or scaredness. I trusted her and didn't think it was wrong.
That was when my sister was nice to me, then things went down for her. Skipped class, was always drunk, always on some type of drug, sneaking out and fighting with my parents. At that time she was horrible to me, anything I said or did she had something to yell back. I remember sometimes walking into our room to get something and her yelling "get the fuck out! Leave me alone! Get the fuck out already retard!" when I wouldn't have even looked at her. Now that she's done with that phase and a mom she's nicer. Not the nicest but I enjoy being around her. Now it's like we're any other pair of sisters, fighting sometimes but we have each others backs.
Pretty much I don't know what to do with my memory, should I be upset with her? Should I just drop it? Is that why she hated me for so long? I'm just not upset with her but for some reason I cringe whenever it comes to mind