My sister's bf is a bully

Discussion in 'Bullying and Violence' started by Morgana, Aug 30, 2011.

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  1. Morgana

    Morgana Well-Known Member

    And made us really, really scared today. :sad: I kind of mentioned it in another thread, but wanted to put more detail.

    During the course of a FB conversation with my sister, I ended up admitting that I had given her number to our aunt in case of emergency while our aunt went to deal with the last of her mom's stuff. I admit, I should have asked first. Still. The reaction was way out of proportion! :blink:

    Her boyfriend D. sent me a FB message that was really threatening about how it's his family plan and really his phone number, and don't dare give it out again without their permission or he'll block my number from ever calling/texting my sister again, and if I have a problem, he can "come over and talk to me face to face."

    And I'm just like...o_O wtf? I mean, I know he doesn't like our aunt, but...still. WTF?

    So I had enough of that, so I blocked him on Facebook. So he texts me, apparently just to bully/intimidate me some more? And calls me pathetic and a leech, and just makes fun of everything he can, and I'm kind of thinking at that point he's just pathetic...'cause he's 30 years old and got fired from his last job...for being an intimidating douche on company property, actually, and had to ask his mom for rent money a couple months ago...and -I'm- the leech? :rolleyes:

    Except then he threatens to tell my parents I'm bisexual. And that he will, in fact, tell them as soon as they get home from vacation.

    Which...I was just mad before, but that actually gave me a panic attack. :nerves: But I'm just like yeah whatever, I was planning on telling them anyway [like preemptive strike].

    And um...then he ended up telling me to shut my face and "stop dressing like a circus freak" or basically he was going to come over and punch me in the mouth. :cry:

    At which point, I called the non-emergency police number, showed the cop who showed up the texts, and he called D. and gave him a warning and said that if he calls or texts me at all, he will be cited for phone harassment. :grr:

    But really...I'm freaking out right now. I feel like this stupid bully has just torn away my entire family. He's definitely torn away my sister. I know she's taking his side again. And I can't help but feel that he's been looking for a way to get me blocked because he knows I have never liked him and that if he does something really effed up and abusive, my sister will come to me. So it's like he's isolating her and trying to stop her, and it sucks.

    But also--I'm still dependent on my parents to some extent. And they are VERY religious. And VERY intolerant/homophobic. So...I'm pretty sure they are going to disown me. I mean, I'll hope for the best, but I'm basically pretty sure they will.

    And for what? WHY does he feel the need to destroy my life? Because he can? All he does is make himself look like a total jackass. But it's not like it makes my life un-ruined.

    What I was going to try to do was find ways to get some money saved up, get my license, and move to my bf's across the country. But I mean...what am I supposed to do if I do get disowned? Hitchhike? :( He doesn't have the money to help like that. And he shouldn't have to.

    Just...so frustrated. SO TIRED of this stupid guy intimidating me and threatening me all the time because he's done it before too, just not to this...extent.

    Wish he'd just fall in the Marianas Trench or something.
     
  2. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    :hug:

    I feel for you. It's utterly shameful what he's doing to you. :(

    Again, best of luck with coming out. Stay in touch...Mr. A
     
  3. Morgana

    Morgana Well-Known Member

    Thank you. :hug:


    Ugh. And as usual, my sister has plastered it all over Facebook. :rolleyes: Yes, my boyfriend "harassed her." Apparently, making it clear that bullying and tolerating bullying of your own sister is harassment now. Oh, and wishing her a nice life with her bf. Well, it's more than I can do. I won't do it yet 'cause I don't know what's going to happen parent-wise yet, but I seriously want to tell my sister that...well...fuck off. Anyone who can stay with someone who said horrible things of that nature to their own sister, who can condone those things, and then try to turn them back on the victim...is not related to me. It's over. It's enough. She couldn't even bother to stand up for her own sister, the one who has helped her through gawd knows how many things, the one who stood by her through her own r*pe by an ex, who stood by her through her first pregnancy when she thought she herself would be disowned...

    I am through with her. I am sorry that this means I pretty much will never see my nephew again and likely not really see the baby that hasn't been born yet. I am sorry that they will be trapped in a toxic home that will no doubt be filled with abuse and harsh things, and I dearly hope that if it does become that bad, someone calls CPS on them. But I know that even if my sister leaves this guy, she will only go with someone just as toxic, and y'know what? Maybe she deserves toxicity because that's the only kind of person who can put up with her own for very long. I'm done with it. I have gone through more shit with her than anyone has a right to do to somebody, and this is. the. last. straw. She couldn't even acknowledge that her bf was wrong, that he had no right to say those things. She couldn't even tell me in private that she doesn't agree with him.

    To me, that means she DOES agree with him, and that means that she has ZERO place in my life. It's enough. I don't know that I will give her "the cut direct" but I am damned tempted.

    I'm not putting up with this B.S. from anyone anymore, even if they are related to me.
     
  4. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Sorry to hear that you're going through so much at the moment. :hugtackles: Here listening....Mr. A
     
  5. Illusion

    Illusion Well-Known Member

    Yikes. What a douche.. Reminds me of a friend of mines ex. Your sister should leave him cause its most likely that he could be hurting her as well even if she doesn't realize shes being hurt yet. Like the whole isolation from her own sister thing.. My friend's ex was like that. Isolating her from everyone. Took her awhile to realize what he was doing. Hes a snake in the grass but your sister's lack of seeing that shouldn't be affecting you. I'm sorry you're having to loose your sister this way. I hope she snaps out of the spell hes put her in someday and take your side. By the way.. Hes most likely very insecure about his-self or has issues according to the stuff I witnessed before cause people that're bullies are usually insecure with issues they're secretly ashamed of. So yeah.. Just try your best to block him out whether the law has to get involved again or not. Its best to do that than get sucked into that kind of drama. Best of luck to ya and hope hes gone from you & your sisters life completely someday.

    :hug:
     
  6. Morgana

    Morgana Well-Known Member

    Thank you guys. :hug:

    That's actually exactly what I was thinking, that he's isolating her from the people who care and he knows I at least care about abusers because I helped her get away from the last one. >.< No surprise he'd want to cut off that avenue. >.> It would be nice if she would somehow come back to my side, but even if she did, I dunno...I'm done with my family in general, I can't move on and heal properly if I still have their toxicity in my life anyways. :sad:

    At least so far, nothing has come of it, so I wonder if he was just threatening me to get a reaction and see if -I- tell them first, and then he doesn't have to say a word. Would not surprise me...




    This smiley is freaking adorable: :hamtaro:
     
  7. Illusion

    Illusion Well-Known Member

    lol yeah that smiley is adorable. I loved Hamtaro as a kid and still do. :laugh:

    But yeah.. I have a strong feeling that the relationship between them 2 will come crashing down someday. I think it took my friend around a year to realize what he was doing to her.
     
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