Well ive been on and off this forum and chat room for sometime and i thought id explain whats been happening with me. Well ive been suicidal and self harming sines i was a kid and ive been to psychiatrists and therpist before but allways ended up with someone who didnt understand and didnt get along with. So i decided to just bottle it all up which wasnt a good idea at all. so sines around May i think ive been on anitdpressants 20mg at first but they stopped working and was feeling even more suicidal and was self harming i tryed to OD and i had thoughts of hanging myself and getting ran over by a truck so i was put on 40mg. And allso i was sent to a psychiatrist and hes sent me to the a therapist who is very nice. Im not starting my therapy till next month but i have met her and shes very nice and said shes looking forward to getting to know me and help. Im not very suicidal at the moment but thats only cause its Xmas time so im looking forward to that but i know after its over ill be depressed so i really need long term help.