this is my first time here, thank you for allowing me to.post. i was in the most fantastic - even perfect - sitution a year ago. had the best job ever, a loving althogh caotic relationship over just over a year, the chance of new house which would be home. id always had house before and saw only as existance with my ex wife of 30years. however, i was arrested for a crime, lost everything and i mean everything, within a matter of days. i am yet to go to court or be sentenced but i have already lost contact with everyone except a fone call to my best friend each evening, but he wont see me or forgive me. one other female friend occassionally calls and another who i wont tell what ive involved with very occassionly txts me. a week after arrest i took <mod edit - methods>. i passed out but after 12 hours woke up vomiting and called ambulance. amazingly enough 2 months on i am still here. just. the more physically stronger i feel the more i wish i had not survived and this is how i feel right now. your views welcome. thank you for reading.