People judge by outer appearance. Well, most people who know me would say i'm a happy-go-lucky dude. Truth is, i'm badly hurt and broken by the world. I feel hate, i feel unloved, i feel unwanted. I guess, no one really knows what we, depress and suicidal people, feel and think. I'm just looking for acceptance. I admit i'm a person suffering with severe depression and maybe with mental illness too. I would sometimes cut myself with a blade, from my body to hands to legs, letting my blood flow freely down my skin. Doing so makes me feel alive. It somehow gives me satisfaction and comfort. I would sometimes drip my blood on my scrap book and write words with it. Ive got no one to turn to. So many times i tried to stop myself from doing so, yet so many times i failed myself. When i try opening up myself to other's, they'll just treat it as a joke thinking i'm joking. I've tried so many times opening my self to others, and yet i failed. I'm sick and tired of trying. So many times have i cried. Yet no one listens. Happiness is like a myth in my life. It's only filled with sadness, loneliness and hatred. I wear a mask everyday. Deceiving my love ones, my lecturers, my friends. I scream and suffer in silence. Will someone accept me for the way i am?