My son

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Terry, Nov 15, 2009.

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  1. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    So it's finally come :eek:hmy: he sat on the step to my bedroom and stated categorically that he's not happy! It's been building for a while and now its out.
    We talked long into the night and now I have the worry that he will back slide.

    So far I've got him to agree to me talking to my GP about the situation and see what help is available. :stars:

    For those who don't know the situation, my 26 year old son got addicted to online gaming and hasn't left the house in over 6 years. :blink:

    Anyone who's been there, would appreciate any input on how to get him to continue to want to live a normal life.

    I'll do all the running around thats needed to get him the help he needs, I just need help to keep him wanting to be helped.

    Can't believe it's finally come..but thank GOD it has!
     
  2. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    I left you a pm about this Terry...hope you will contact me.
     
  3. Hazel

    Hazel SF & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    I'm so glad your son is asking for help, I know that you will do all you can to get him the help he needs and to keep him on track.
    Remember your needs in this too, us mum's need support! Please pm me any time if you want a chat, my son is 22 , no job and spends his time playing games, similar but I realise not as bad as he does leave the house occasionally.

    :hug:
     
  4. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    You knew for awhile that he was unhappy he just wouldn't verbally say it. When he got really sick you pretty much knew the turning point was inevitable. I'm glad he's finally sat down and talked to you about it rather then keep it all bottled up.

    The best advice I can give is to just keep telling him he needs to be out in the world. I'm sure he'll fight it and I'm sure he'll want to backslide as most addicts do but the trick is to make him how unhealthy it was for him to basically sit inside and do nothing.

    I pretty much stayed inside for 6 months not caring about anything but lying in bed and honestly being on here. Eventually ( i know it's not even near 6 years) I got tired of being so secluded and slowly put myself out there. I got a job, etc. I limit my online time, I go to bed or try to go to bed at a reasonable hour.

    He'll get there Terry. It'll take time but I think he'll get there. The first step is admitting there's a problem, the second is doing something and he seems to be on his way.

    You know where to find me if you need to talk.

    Love yous.
     
  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Going to the GP is a wonderful first step...when you have him out to go to GP maybe take him to a game shop so it will be familliar but out of the house...and extend the time after GP appointments from here...just a thought and best of luck, J
     
  6. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    It's a big step for him coming out and talking to you about it and talking to the GP will be a massive achievement. I realy hope it works out for him and you, he obviously wants to change it if he's willing to talk honestly about it.

    How the visit to the GP goes well.

    :hug:
     
  7. JohnADreams

    JohnADreams Well-Known Member

    Just make sure they refer him into therapy and not waste time with endless medication trials. CBT is the only way to go, as far as I'm concerned.

    As far as motivating him to want to live a normal life. I'd say one of the best ways is to highlight how achievable it will be to start making changes now but also how much more difficult it will be if something is not done sooner rather than years later.
     
  8. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Thanks all, we've talked a little bit more and so far so good.
    I pointed out he will probably be referred to a counsellor or equivalent, this caused a bit of an uproar but he's calmed down and realised he can't do it on his own and neither can I.
     
  9. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Sometimes all it takes it admitting you need help and accepting that help. He's admitted it and seems to be accepting the fact that without help he might not make it through it
     
  10. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    First kudos to you Terry for being a parent that your son knows and feels comfortable with coming to talk to about this. That is one of the first major hurdles most kids face with their problems, letting a parent know. And so far everything is pointing in the right direction to him seriously getting some help for his problem. Just make sure that you keep enforcing that you will be there to help. If he starts to feel like he has to do this alone, he may start to back out. But I'm certain he knows he can count on you because he did chose to talk to you about it.

    And I agree with Sadeyes, after the gp visit, try to go out somewhere, even if only for a coffee or a bite to eat. And try to incorparate that after each visit. I dont think it will take too long before he realizes how much he has missed out on by staying so isolated.

    Good luck and please dont hesitate for a second to turn here for support and advice for yourself. As a parent we so quickly and easily get lost with our own feelings about our childrens problems and you need to stay strong for both you and him. Hope he starts doing better in leaps and bounds!!!!
     
  11. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    I agree with everyone else, Terry - it's a big hurdle to admit that you've got an issue, and this he's obviously done - and accepting help is the next step, which it seems he's also done. As others have said - it's also a great thing that he's managed to come to you and talk about how he's feeling, especially such a sensitive issue..

    Hope the visit to the docs goes well :)

    Speak soon, hopefully :hug:
     
  12. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    its a big step for him to take, its great that he was able to say it too you. i wish all the best for both of you :hug:
     
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