My Story as told by ME

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by scared_and_confused_222, Sep 13, 2008.

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  1. Okay, I've been doing something really stupid on this forum, and that is lieing. I was told by a smart person that a lot of times, teenagers (which I am) and people in general lie to make themselves sound important. I've been lieing a lot and I feel bad about it. So I'm gonna give the facts.
    I'm Cydnee. I'm thirteen. I live in a small suburb of the Quad Cities in western Illinois, USA. I'm pretty normal, really. I have light brown hair (with a few temporary pink streaks) and blue eyes. I'm fat, meaning that I'm really overweight and I'm trying to change that by being healthy. I'm usually a quiet person, and I love writing poetry in a tattered notebook that I bring everywhere. I'm fascinated by morbid things, and I love learning about serial killers, mass murders, school shootings, cannibalism, and any other oddity. That makes me the subject of bullying. I cut myself (which I think is a form of self expression). I have dysthymia, a type of chronic depression that comes with loss of concentration, irritability, stress, insomnia, and normal depression. It's hard to deal with. It's basically a mix of ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, and Depression. I don't want sympathy, I want people to understand that I try my best.
    The parts of my stories that are true are basically the facts that I was molested, I did have an internet stalker (who hasn't?), I am an eighth grader doing tenth grade work, I do have a job, and I do really love bananas...
    So, I guess there's not many replies to this, but still...I wanted to tell my story.
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hi scared_and_confused,
    I am glad you are telling the truth now. Here on the forum you don't have to lie. No one is going to judge you. You tell us what is bothering or harming you and we will give you some advice and support!!
    You probably already know when you lie it always snow balls into more lies to cover the original ones. I am sorry you are fighting depression at such a young age!! Do you have any close friends? do your parents know? There is help out there you just have to find it. Therapy is a good start! Try that and be patient with the therapist because she/he has to ask alot of questions so she/he can feel you out and come up with a plan! Take Care!:chopper:!
  3. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Welcome to the forum cydnee. :hug:
  4. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Cydnee it takes a very strong person to do what you just did in that post. Glad to see you want to make a clean start. No one here will judge you only try their hardest to support you and show they care. Keep posting hun and I hope that you are very quickly walking the path to a brighter future. Good luck.
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hello Cyndee,

    Welcome to the forums :welcome:

    That was a very brave post you made :)

    I lied here too when I came here first, I thought people would think I am a freak and weird for being the way I am. Shorty after I joined I was able to open up more and I now have many great friends here that I can share my true feelings with and give and receive support from. You are still so young, people don't stop your hobbies of reading about mass murderers and school shootings etc.. be who you are and who you want to be, ( I love reading about those sort of things too) One day when you find real friends they will like and care about you regardless of what you read , I hope you begin to feel better soon, take care :hug: I am here if you need to talk!
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