Hi I am 20 year old and I have been having trouble for 3 years now. Please, it is long but please read this and any reply would be much appreciated. Maybe I am feeling sorry for myself, I do not know. I am a very quiet boy. Would never harm/hurt any person. When I was in year 5, the bullying started by a group of people. This carried on until I was in year 10. Every day. Punched, laughed at etc etc and I done nothing. This bullying was every single day from 9am to 3:30pm. It was very difficult. At the same time of this, my father was fighting cancer for 4 years. When I arrived home my school, I give my mum a little rest and I took over looking after my father. It was a difficult job but he was my only friend. He was the person that helped me the most with everything. Every single problem. I used to go home to him and cry, let it all out and he used to help me face the bullies. He was incredible. He passed away after 4 years of fighting. His last words to me being "Don't let them win." I got through school and got OK results. I was happy considering I hate exams!! I went to college and all of a sudden the depression started A LOT more... Also there were more bullies... I had an operation and hopefully change my life for the better but the bullies carried on.. I got accepted into University. I spoke to my mum and sister about this depression but they just laughed and said "everyone goes through depression. you will get over it". The first day into Uni, the bullies were in same class and there was no way of me changing classes (can you believe that? how unlucky!" I left UNIversity and told my mother that it was too hard for me. Who does this? It was the bullies not the course. How pathetic am I. I told my mother and sister I loved them and that night I wrote them a letter and I left it on my bed. I tried to commit suicide. After weeks in the hospital I was very angry. At myself for trying but at others because all of a sudden, the rest of my family cared about me? They didn't speak to me before this. Not once. I could walk down the street and say hello and they would pretend they did not care. I recovered and got a job. I was still depressed. I got bullied in my workplace by my manager and another member of staff. I tried to end my life again. I do not want to be here. I have had 2 years counselling and they said I can take this medicine and hopefully I will be off the medicine in 8 years. I can not carry this on for 8 years. I want to just disappear. I have been so close to doing it again but I just can't pluck up the courage too. 2 years of counselling and I still feel the same. I know what you will say, speak to your family and friends. I have spoken to family. I have no friends. Not ONE. But this is my fault. Every friend I have, I be nice to them and all they do is stick a knife in my back.