the summer of 2008 was the worst time of my life so far, maybe ever. i tried to commit suicide three times. the first time, i <Mod Edit - Methods> in my apartment, turned on a beatles playlist and sat down on the kitchen. I fell asleep crying, I think. I woke up, turned off the music and <Mod Edit - Methods> . i just couldn't do it. the second and third times, i swallowed <Mod Edit - Methods> like to prescribe (okay, aside from the aspirin. i got that from walgreen's) i don't remember the first time i tried to OD (it was my second time overall tho). The second time, my boyfriend came out of nowhere (he must have been alarmed by the fact that i wasnt answering my cell. He made me throw up and I fell asleep (yes.. again) I don't know why he didn't call the paramedics; today, it seems weird but I think he was scared and paralyzed. I don't know how I feel today. I don't talk about my awful months. I'm scared though. Scared of hitting rock bottom again.