My story of SI...boy i love hammers...

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by birdy, Mar 16, 2007.

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  1. birdy

    birdy Well-Known Member

    I stopped feeling things. I cant feel any emotions anymore. I cant even remember feeling happy, or anything of the sort.
    I think i am dead. Or at least my soul is dead. I cant take it anymore.
    So i hurt myself to forget that I cannot feel. I make my body compensate for my death. In that way I can at least feel something, even if it's only my body.
    Well how do I hurt myself?
    Unlike many others I use methods of injuring myself without leaving scars...
    I beat myself up. I use my fists to hit my torso, my back, my legs, my head, in short everypart of my body that i can reach.
    But lately i got resistant to that kind of pain. so i started using other things to hurt myself.
    yesterday i went to a toolbox. i took everything i could find. so i used tools, screwdrivers, hammers, and the like.
    the stupid thing: the pain loses itself after a few moments. so yesterday i spent 2 hours beating myself up. today i could barely walk anymore.
    and the clamps i used left marks on my arms...fuck
    but at least i feel better, if only for a while...
    it helps...
  2. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Sorry you feel that way. I have been a self injurer for about 10 years now. I know how it goes. If you'd like to talk about it or anything.. you can always PM me or message me on MSN. My MSN addy is below in my signature. :) :hug:
  3. scared_child

    scared_child Account Closed

    hey, i have been self harming for a couple of years now,although i tend to lean towards cutting, burning, and over dose. just like carolyn said, if you need to talk, PM me, or, my hotmail account is and i check it all the time. good luck *safe hugs*
  4. birdy

    birdy Well-Known Member

    thanks a lot to the 2 of u
  5. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    I have hurt myself too, I mean, other than cutting, I have hit myself against things, punched things (I wouldn't physically hurt another person, I mean hit a wall or something to hurt myself), punched myself too and a variety of other things so you're not alone. Yes it may help, but, for how long? How long does the "relief" last? Not long. It's not a permanent solution and as you may know it only causes a new problem because you've grown addicted to it.

    I suggest you try to stop hurting yourself because at the end of the day it doesn't solve anything. Please seek support from outside, maybe talk to a teacher or a relative you can trust or a doctor. :hug:
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