24th December 2011, 12:55 PM I really think it’s easier for you to help me if I tell my whole story. I’m Portuguese, so I’m sorry for my English. A couple of years ago, when I was in high school, I started to have sleeping problems. I couldn’t fall asleep for hours, or I was waking up at 4am and couldn’t sleep anymore. I’ve always been a good student, with good grades and it really pulled me down that I couldn’t pay attention in my classes. I still don’t know why this all started and maybe if I got medication then, I wouldn’t be like this now. Then my grandmother died. She was very important in my life and the funeral was the worst experience of my life, I have it stuck in my memory and I remember it every day. Some people say that I would be better if I believed in God, because then I would know that she’s ok, in heaven, looking out for me. But I really don’t. I missed that year in high school and I had to do it all over again, since I was having such bad grades and I was crying all the time, even in the middle of the classes. However, then I had some friends, that actually were supportive. They’re all gone now, probably had enough of it. When my sleeping problems started, I was seeing a psychiatrist and a psychologist, and I started my medication, with an anti-depressant and some sleeping pills. After my grandmother died, I tried to kill myself with those pills. Then I wouldn’t stop. I was always cutting myself, I needed to feel something, because I was so numb. After that repeated year on high school, I went to college. I really hated that people and I freaked out and got off college too. I was a full year at home, in bed, doing nothing. This year,I got back to college and I was better. I stopped seeing my psychologist because it just didn’t work for me, I can’t do that. I’m still medicated but I’m so tired… Every day that I get up of bed, I feel an automaton or a robot, I’m always sad and now I’ve been feeling very depressed again. I don’t see what’s the point of moving on with this, I tried so hard to get better and got even worst. I just want an end to all of this, I’m exhausted. Please help me, you’re kind of my last resort.